Unearthing Tantric Sex

So you have decided to uncover your blissful, inner goddess, sanctify your sexuality, awaken your chakras and rechannel your erotic and spiritual energies. Or have you just heard that Tantra is the new multiple orgasm and figured you can become the ultimate lover if you could only figure out what the hell Tantra is.

Well, here comes the de-New Aged rundown on this ancient practice, that – by the way – is going to need more than a weekend retreat or a DVD to properly understand. At the end of this article, you’re unlikely to have a better understanding. With a bit of luck what you will understand is that there are no quick fixes for good sex. Just a lot of hard, hard work.

Tantra is a cousin of yoga. It involves breathing, meditating, movement and practicing. It can be done alone or with a partner, and can even be applied to general behaviour as much as it relates to your sexual world. Before you discover earth shattering orgasmic experiences, you are going to need to exercise your mind, your body and especially your patience.

Tantric sex is basically turning sex into a full body-mind-consciousness experience with a whole lot of psychedelic words. You learn to feel sensual and connected (to yourself and/or partner) by relaying your consciousness away from the genitals. This deconstructs peoples’ sexual and erotic habits before bringing them all back together in a more focused and meaningful way.

There can be no quick tips or shortcuts, because it is the process that makes all the difference. Learning Tantra can be a whole new set of sexual experiences. Or, if you don’t take it too seriously, a huge amount of fun. Another function the Tantric exercises can fulfill is teaching you to let go of hang ups about your body and your sexual response.

Becoming One

Ouch! One sticky part of Tantra is the idea that a couple can learn to work as one, act as one and be one entity. This is great in bed, but relationship therapists will explain that this is a no-no when it comes to being a couple. You are still two individuals, with different thoughts and needs, even when you figure out how to come together!


Tantra is about opposites. Two separate people sharing one act, but enjoying it differently. Or one person bringing opposing parts of themselves into harmony without rejecting any part. It’s also about accepting sex as active and inactive at the same time.

Here’s a Tantra dictionary for starters:

    • Vagina – Yoni (sacred space)
    • Penis – Lingam (wand of light)
    • Oral Sex – Honoring
    • Anus – Rosebud
    • Vaginal Lips – Drapes
    • Clitoris – Pearl


According to various Eastern beliefs, there are seven main chakras on the human body, and each chakra represents an energy source with a whole functional sphere of its own. All these chakras are accessed during Tantra, which is a brilliant way to disperse the sexual energy. This is something that most people have come to associate with the genital area and little beyond it.

The seven stations are important both in terms of their physical characteristics, as well as the feelings and functions that they represent. Let’s take them from the bottom, moving from the most base to the most spiritual.

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