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The Truth About Blue Balls

The name sounds as innocent as a kids’ game, but actually, the mention of Blue Balls is one of the most manipulative ways in which males abuse females’ naivety, when the heat gets turned on.

Blue Balls refers to a high state of arousal in men, when the penis is engorged and prepared for ejaculation and orgasm, but is doesn’t happen. This could either be because one of the partners decides to stop the motion or (more rarely) because of a glitch in the man’s system.

The Myth of Inevitability

There is a very prevalent myth, circulated across cultures, wherever boys want sex and girls are taught to hold out. The myth of blue balls holds that once a man reaches a certain level of arousal, he has reached a point of no return and has to let it all out. Orgasm – according to such discoloured boys – cannot be withheld. Keeping a guy from orgasm will do him grievous harm and leave him writhing in pain.

In reality, the genuine “point of no return” is a moment before orgasm when there is really no return. Orgasm will happen anyway. It is very deceptive to confuse not being able to stop with not wanting to stop.

Lies or Misunderstandings

Way too many women and girls are caught up in blue ball manipulations. Being told that they are responsible for arousing their partner, but then choosing not to have sex or participate is relieving his hard-on, they are made to feel guilty for his dire situation. The term “blue balls” even implies some trauma or danger to this part of his anatomy, about which many females are not perfectly clear.

Having “blue balls” generally refers to the ache that occurs in the testes, because the penis is throbbing and hoping for relief, and the testes, or balls are preparing to release their two bags full, when the stimulation is stopped. This means all the blood vessels have constricted, and are holding the blood in the penis, and are preparing for ejaculation, but just when body and mind want to orgasm, the necessary strokes, rubs or thrusts are not forthcoming.

How painful is it really? The superlatives used during the moments of negotiation are not a great reflection. Part of the pain that guys tend to describe is not happening in their groins, but rather in their ego and that part of the brain which controls expectations. All that can be experienced from an unrequited hard-on are a few minutes of moderate to heavy discomfort. It will pass and nothing will fall off.

How do we know this? Because men aren’t the only ones who experience this feeling. A woman who is highly aroused but isn’t brought to orgasm will experience the same level of discomfort when her vulva is grossly engorged and orgasm is not brought on. There is even a weaker version of blue-balls-for-her when a multi-orgasmic woman is given one orgasm and she does not continue it to its natural potential. She will remain pre-orgasmic and discomforted, until all engorgement is released. Either she’ll finish off what she started or wait a few minutes for it to settle.

The Cure

It’s not brain surgery. Just give it a few minutes, and all will go back to normal. The blood vessels that constrict to entrap all the blood in the genitals begin to relax once stimulation is reduced, so the blood slowly seeps back out. Any discomfort will disappear, as though it was never there.

It may be quicker to find relief by masturbating, if it is appropriate. It is certainly more appropriate than demanding that the solution to your desires necessarily lies with some part of her body.

Playing the blue balls card is bad on a lot of levels. Firstly, whether a guy is knowingly lying to a girl about how it feels or whether he is inexperienced and misinformed about the basic horniness facts, talking a partner into any sexual act that she is not partaking of freely, is just sad, not to mention legally dubious.

On a whole other level, control is very important to good sexual practice, and this is just one way to learn to practice control. Learning to delay gratification and also to withhold orgasm until it is an appropriate time for yourself and your lover, may be one of the best feelings you can have sexually. It certainly is better than the feeling of “needing” orgasm so badly that you’ll do anything to let yourself blow.

 

POST SCRIPT (June 2012): The Dinah Project wishes to acknowledge a lack of inclusiveness in referring to the pain of blue balls as merely a function of negotiation for sex, when in fact it clearly can be extremely painful in some cases. Whereas most occurrences pass within a number of minutes, as mentioned, it is reported that in some individuals, on certain occasions it could last as long as an hour.

It would be further insensitive to compare the pain described by men in the subsequent comments to the pain of childbirth, but suffice it to say that pain is subjective. We hold by our original assertion that no amount of discomfort is justification for manipulating a woman into sex. And the notion of blue balls is continuously used by some individuals for devious means.

We have chosen to republish the original text published in Dec. 2007, with all the (unedited) comments because the debate (perhaps witch-hunt) that resulted, inspired such fascinating input. Please, keep it coming…


114 comments on “The Truth About Blue Balls

  1. I call BS on this, my epididymis gets swollen after I get aroused, and will hurt for days, it does not just go away.
    Was this article written by a woman who has no clue?

  2. Fuck all of you who think that blue balls are fake you can all go fuck your selves like really blue balls is a true thing and unless you are a doctor who can show proof you should keep your fucking mouth shut about something you have no idea about and as for women you don’t know either so shut the fuck up

  3. ultrajones on said:

    Wow. This author is dead wrong. Soooo much ejaculate accumulates in my testicles that they swell to a noticeably larger size. They feel like they are about to burst and like they have just been kicked. They hurt all day whether I orgasm or not, once the damage is done. I’ve even had blue balls with sex when my partner turned me on so much for hours. I’m perfectly willing to masturbate if necessary, but some women are so inconsiderate that they will not “let” me, because it grosses them out or because the hole thing is a power trip. This article is willful ignorance and hateful toward men. Women don’t have to feel guilty about it, but claiming it does not exist is just plain terrible.

  4. Yeah, it’s just like periods…those don’t hurt at all women just use it as an excuse to be assholes. I would not presume to know the pain inflicted by periods or childbirth, yet you do presume to understand our pain. I have had blue balls so bad it hurt to move, I slept for 12 hours and awoke still in pain. Post a wank, I still had a bit of pain for the rest of my day. Everyone is different, but when I get blue balls; it is excruciating. I have broken my leg, most fingers and toes, a few ribs, multiple nosebreaks and lots of stitches in my lifetime. This shit is real and I don’t appreciate you spitting the man hating lies. Is it a woman’s responsibility to get me off…NO! That does not mean the pain I am in isn’t real and I have literally told girls “I have painful blue balls and I have to fix it either alone or with you; your choice.”

  5. Get real on said:

    bull. bull and more bull. I’ve had blue balls once and never do i want it again. author is clearly a feminist who feels men are lying about it. When I had it the pain went on for 2 hours! then i had to masturbate and that only got better about 20 minutes after that! so no its not a myth and no doesn’t go after a few minutes!

  6. Milton on said:

    Oh look, more bullshit on the internet about blue balls. The reason I’m reading so much about blue balls on the internet is due to my 3 day hospitalization for it this past weekend after I had to call 911 because the pain was so intense.

    Apparently this isn’t exactly uncommon either, according to the ER nurses I spoke with. Unfortunately the internet is full of uninformed people spewing uninformed nonsense and the write of this article is just another one of the clueless buffoons with an internet connection and a lack of knowledge.

  7. First, no man should ever, in any way whatsoever, even think about trying to manipulate a girl into sex. That’s against man code, and it’ll make real men view you as a little b****. Major loss of rep.

    Second, thanks for posting the update. Here’s another view of the condition: some men are like me where ejaculation doesn’t help blue balls. It might even make it worse. What does help is flexing the groin and thigh muscles–for example, squatting down behind a car, grabbing the bumper, and trying to lift the car.

    For any future wives, ^^that’s golden advice for your man right there. This trick helps because blue balls are caused by your blood vessels being swollen with blood for too long until it creates a semi-bruise, a little like how your finger starts to hurt when floss is wrapped tight around it for a couple minutes (but the testicles don’t actually turn blue lol). By flexing muscles in your groin, blood flow increases throughout that area, quickening the time it takes for the blood vessels to return to normal size and start receiving sufficient amounts of oxygen.

  8. Blue balls in the long run I increase the chances of testicle cancer

  9. Haha it’s pretty obvious the author has never had blue balls. I wish it was a myth but unfortunately it’s not. It hurts. I’ve thrown up because I was in so much pain from blue balls. Luckily, there’s a pretty simple cure.

  10. dave on said:

    Another guy here to say this article is very misleading… and it’s postscript doesn’t serve the matter justice. I’ve never come across this topic wherein the subject’s blue balls was a trivial matter that would be shortly lived…but of course this isn’t something that comes up often… and my personal experiences and knowledge of my friend’s experiences can’t speak for everyone… that being said… Blue balls are painful! And in my case last for a long hour or two. During this time it hard to walk…well it just hurts to move. And yes, my lower back hurts too. No, its nowhere near the agonizing “total system reset” of being kicked in the nuts which, once you re-align with the universe, you start to question yourself and order of all things, but the pain is somewhat similar.. just not nearly as extreme. Basically, it’s not to be taken lightly…although your body will fix itself. I agree with the author that using this in a devious manner or as a bargaining chip is not cool… not cool at all. Shameful. It’s one thing to flirt… and it’s another thing to knowingly lead a man all the way to your bedroom just to shut the door.

  11. I’ll start by saying this is a very sexist piece against men. As a male I am one of the unlucky one’s to suffer from “blue balls” and I wish it was an hour of pain it can vary from a couple of hours to a couple of days, with a pain that comes and goes it can get as bad as erections and even underwear adding to the pain making walking difficult let alone sex or masturbation (the pain is liking to someone tying string around the testicles). To add I have never played the blue ball card as an excuse for sexual relief as far as I know my wife doesn’t even know it exists, she does notice me in discomfort and tells me to check for lumps but I know what it is, if I don’t get regular sex I try keep on top of it through masturbation as my sex drive is a lot more active than my wife’s but I do like to try prolong things for more intense sexual encounters but sometimes prolonging can go bad if blue balls get there first. Not all men are sexual deviants looking to take advantage of women as your piece would make believe and if any hard talking men(keyboard warriors) want to question my masculinity for respecting my wife and women in general try being a real man and stop hiding behind your weak insecurities.

  12. The pain of blue balls subsides after a few minutes?? Really? From my experience it doesn’t start until 3-5 minutes or so has passed.

    You should have asked a guy about this before writing the article. I have never used it as a ‘negotiating tool’ ever…though I have complained to male friends afterwards. :-/

  13. Sean Owens on said:

    breathing techniques may help but i doubt it once u get blue balls avoid action down there at all costs unless u release an orgasm like i just did took the pain away or off my mind lol freedom!

    • The implication that men all men use this to pressure poor unassuming girls into sex is asinine. Most men experience this the first time after they have already parted ways with their significant other. It’s not until they get home that the pain/discomfort becomes overt. It’s a little hard to pressure anyone at that point. The pain can range from mild discomfort in the abdomen, to severe soreness in the abdomen and testicles. It can last a few moments, or several hours depending on how long the male was stimulated.
      So, to whom it may concern: The phenomenon known as “blue balls” is a real. ‘Blue balls’ has nothing to do with hurt pride, or a desire to coerce anyone into anything. The only way to avoid this unpleasant side effect of arousal, is to avoid heavy petting until both parties feel comfortable taking the next step. So consider this before…

    • Sally on said:

      FYI

      Women can get “blue balls” too and it’s way more common and happens way more often than it does for men.

      If I have the little O’s but no big O BAM!

      It’s like period cramps multiplied by 1000 with a back ache, and an annoying tickly feeling that won’t go away plus this ache like you have to pee but nothing happens and it won’t go away if you try. It lasts for hours. Sometimes DAYS. Days. Daaaaays.

      Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

      Pure hell.

      It’s almost as bad as labor pains. Almost. (Sorry nothings THAT bad) Except it lasts for daaaaaaaaaays. Why WHY dear god, wwwhhhhyyyyy?!!!

      It’s almost enough to turn me off sex altogether.

      Nah. I usually get the big big O, plus a bunch of little O’s. He’s a good man.

      Dang interruptions. Rawr!

      This makes me wonder if this phenomenon is why so many women get turned off to sex. It’s not widely known.

      So all you men. Give the ladies a BIG O already. Not just those little clit O’s. That ain’t shit.

      What she needs is an earth shaking uterine orgasm.

      Now I am off to take some ibuprofen and a nap. FML

  14. Sean Owens on said:

    i guess ‘once’ your used to getting off byurself(or with yer girl) and u stop that course of action(even inforplay or in the moment u can get the same effect of blue balls i suggest u cum a few times put some ice on after take a few painkillers get some rest(trynot to move alot) its like a migrain you dont wana throw your head around nshit cud endure the pain … wait it out if it still hurts after then something else cud be wrong thats when u see the doctor for answers

  15. Sean Owens on said:

    all in all i said what i needed to say everyonehas different thoughts but to all u blue ball guys that are suffering out there stay strong for ur balls sakesfor if u dont you will loose the war and all your little soldiers will pass and wont live to become veterans! btw if this eruption doesnt go away go see a doctor lol asap

  16. Sean Owens on said:

    u know what they say wants u get blueballs thiers no going back lol its been 4hrs now and just slighty tou hing them feels like theirs a string wrapped around them holding a 100pound weight

  17. Sean Owens on said:

    just an fyi once yu get blue balls dont get kicked i the nuts or sit on them cause that just makes you feel like someone kicked u in the nuts continuesly lmfao i think im gona die over here lol fml

  18. Sean Owens on said:

    ur wrong blue balls can last for hours(that crazy ache pain) if it only goes away after a few minutes it means you havent been holding off from busting a nut long enought or building up cum… to feel the pain we hate you need to not jack off for more then 2 weeks … example for those 2weeks i jacked off many times but didnt cum because i was edging trying to build up cum i only experiend pain for several minutes and it went away but today i jacked off and still mo ..release but came so close to cumming like 10 times but i said no because i wanted to build up cum then BOOM i had the worst pain of blue balls ever and i looked up how to fix this and found this bs.. blue balls is not a myth its just rare like a blue moon and of course women will never understand cus they dont haveballs that feel like a nut cracker is cracking them aha.. even

    some men wont expeirence this as they bust a nut to much and dont edge.could be a reason …others are just random as not at people are the same get that str8 threw your dumb thick skullz everyone is different i bet thier lots of guys who get blue balls without trying or doing what i did to build up cum

    • Sean Owens on said:

      fuck the pain is so bad ive been up for hours im 21 years old and produce alot of sperm but ive been ona streak for not blowing a nut maybe its time i should(would obvsly help)so some of that brutal pain can be relieved but still probably wont do much since i came to the edge and stopped therefore causing the blews balls alreadt so the pain will last for hours fyi example its like a volcano thats suppose to erupt but doesnt and in the end on the inside their is a wild fire lol.. the only thing you can do is wait outthe pain like a MAN or champ or if your lucky take some pain killers maybe that will help i could really uae some rightnow bahahaahaa :(

  19. I would agree with Jim Steele. The author has no clue what it is like to have blue balls. I am currently experiencing it since about 4 hours and unfortunately can’t masturbate as am seeing my gf tonite for a date. Have not masturbated since 3 days and couldn’t lose my habit of watching porn but somehow limited myself from blowing. Hence blue balls. Hopefully after we have sex tonite it will go away soon.

    This is the second time I am having blue balls first time being after my first nite after marriage. My now ex wife was really shy and said she is having her periods thus couldn’t have sex for that nite and had really bad blue balls the day after.

    Is lower back pain related with blue balls at all as I seem to have that as well since morning.

  20. Jim Steele on said:

    I can tell the person who wrote this article is obviously a women and has therefore obviously never experienced the severe and lasting pain of blue balls. It is not a few minutes of discomfort but several hours. Once it starts even if I ejaculate immediately I will still have a few hours of pain following the ejaculation. Only thing I can do is take ibuprofen to help with swelling and lay down until it goes away. Never once has it lasted less than 30 minutes. I’m not saying it is to blame on the partner or that is the only reason I want to ejaculate but it is extremely uncomfortable and not recently but a couple years had let me bed ridden for almost half a day. It’s best to ensure ejaculation immediately when the first symptoms of pain are felt there. The longer it is delayed the more severe and lasting the pain will be. That is at least my experience.

    • yes indeed. Although I’m sure it varies from person to person, I think if you are a heavy precummer, it makes it even worse. I have had pain so bad I could barely walk, backache, etc. “Just ejaculate” isn’t always the solution as many times the actual desire is gone, although the pain exists. A warm bath and good night’s sleep usually does the trick.

  21. I am genuinely thankful to the holder of this web site who has shared this wonderful article at at this time.

  22. sshm.iptime.org on said:

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  23. I Found This Article Fairly One Sided.
    As The Feminist Cleary Makes Her Point That All Men Are Evil, I Can Assure You All, The Pain Is Real.
    I’ve Never Experienced Pain In The Testicles Though.
    The Pain And, Most Of All, Extreme Pressure, Has Always Been In My Back An Abdomen.
    I’ve Actually Thrown Up From The Discomfort Before.
    I Have Never Used My Pain As A Tool To Get Sex.
    I Suffer From Delayed Ejaculation And Simply Can’t Achieve Orgasm Most Of The Time.
    I’m Right At The Edge A Lot, But Orgasm Just Doesn’t Happen.
    Afterward, I’m In Pain.
    But When It Can Be Helped To Just Avoid The Pain And Discomfort Is When I Get A Little Upset At My Fiancé.
    I Won’t Be Even Remotely In The Mood And She’ll Start Rubbing Me.
    …Then Stop Once I’m In The Mood.
    On Several Occasions, I’ll Be Asleep And She’ll Start Giving Me Oral Sex.
    I Usually Wake Up When I’m Getting Close (I’m A Very Heavy Sleeper) And When I Tell Her I’m Getting Close, She Stops.
    Due To My Delayed Ejaculation Problem, We Have Marathon Sex Sessions.
    She Reaches Orgasm No Less Than Twenty Times In A Go Around.
    But When I’m Finally Close, Around Two Or Three Hours Into It, She Either Says She Can’t Handle Anymore Or Her Hip Hurts Too Much… Anything She Can Think Of.
    I’m Left Just Sitting There In Discomfort.
    I Can Also Assure You, Masturbating Does Not Alleviate It.
    It’s Too Much A Mental Connection You Want To Experience With Your Partner.
    Anyone Can Make Themselves Reach Orgasm, But It’s A Special Thing When Someone Does It With/For You.
    Again, I Have Never Used This As A Tool Or Guilt Trip.
    I’ve Just Accepted That She Enjoys Seeing Me In Pain.
    But To Women That Think Men Are Just Trying To Trick Them, You Need To Grow Up.
    I’ll Even Let You Live In A Fantasy World Where Half Of Guys Are Trying To Manipulate You.
    Guess What?
    That Still Leaves A Heck Of A Lot Of Truthful Men.

  24. Jason on said:

    Jesus… suck it up you princesses. Your balls hurt so bad? Would you like me to pull out a violin for you? Perhaps a box of tissues and a tampon?

    Listen to you twits. Just listen to yourselves. Bunch of pansies. That feeling of pain between your legs isn’t the pain of blue balls. It’s the pain of growing a pair. Soon, you will be men. Men who can handle the minor discomforts of life. Men who don’t need to sob in front of a pretty girl to get pity sex because of some potentially sore balls later. Men that command the respect of women because they don’t snivel about their wretched balls.

    Astounding… just astounding… you boys don’t have anything for the girls to turn blue…

  25. Joseph on said:

    All I’m going to say is I am no wimp, (there are female wimps and male wimps all the same) but please, please believe me everyone out there in internet land, I am in so much pain right now, I don’t give a shit about the argument right now, all I hope to accomplish is somehow feel 1% percent better venting my pain and frustration, because that may save my life. I have never ever ever felt this much pain before in my life, many have compared it to a swift kick in the nuts, it’s been a long time since that has happened to me, but please believe me this feel so much worse. I feel like my balls are going to explode, I don’t know if they literally are swelling, but it feels like it, like they’re little balloons getting bigger and bigger and are about to burst. Ahhh, please God if you exist, I’ll become religious I’ll do anything, please remove this excruciating, insufferable pain, I can’t sleep, after two hours of hard labor I finally rubbed one out, but BULLSHIT!!!! It hasn’t solved my internal crisis of epic proportions!!! This could be the end my friends, if my balls blow up I’m a goner! Man down man dowwwnn!!

  26. This is clearly written by a chick or a guy with no experience of blue balls. It fucking hurts like shit, spreads into your lower abdomen and makes you feel bloated kinda. Like you really need to pee on top of it. In bad cases I even get pain in my lower back and tge general discomfort is as huge as any I’ve witnessed including a burst ependix. It can double a man up and last hours, even a good hour or so after ejaculation. The author is clearly a douche!!!!!!

  27. Christopher Hunt on said:

    I can say with certainty that “blue balls” can last for several hours, and hurt like hell!! I have had blue balls for the last several days… masturbation has alleviated it a bit, but I have been visiting my chica here in Mexico, and we are not having sex, though it comes close every day. It is excruciating after I have been with her for a while and need release. It really sucks bad, but I have not mentioned it to her, as I do not want to pressure her into sex. She is down to hook up, and when we were about to make love, she told me that she promised God that she wouldn’t, but that she had no control of her passion, and asked me to help her keep her promise (this is after she asked for me, btw, and we were naked and doing everything else almost). I want to marry this gal, so I am doing my best to help her with that!

    • Jason on said:

      You are right. The pain can last for days if you do not have sex or masturbate enough. It can happen without physical contact as well, as can a hard on. It feels like bloating or congestion in your pelvic area, and everything becomes oversensitive in the groin to the point that it can become painful to walk. This lasts for me until I ejaculate and does not go away “in a couple minutes”. Severe blue balls makes sex painful.

      This blogger is so full of hate toward men that she refuses to acknowledge natural physiological responses and the source of the stimulation. No one is ever obliged to have sex, however if one knows they will not have sex, one should also not partake in “teasing activities” that will lead to actual physical pain for their unfulfilled partner. If a girl likes to tease too much, I just find another. Very simple.

  28. Ginger on said:

    **WARNING- This is only a blog! Definition: a BLOG-is when someone posts an opinion outloud as a statement on the internet.

    Since no prior research or factual evidence were preformed on the above subject, woman should NOT determine a decision based on this blog/article. Doing so well result in poor judgement and lead to ignorance on the subject matter.

    The subject of: Vasocongestion, (nickname: “Blue Balls” for men) is a real medical condition that affects both men and women.

  29. Blue balls is real, feels like I was kicked multiple times in my crotch, should break up with that bitch… All these stupid people.. It’s an excuse, it’s abuse, she causes you severe pain that lasts up to 24 hours and the guy is bad.. If I caused the pain I would be in jail for assault. Might as well just kick your boyfriend in the nuts and say your a piece of crap.. It’s the same thing

    • Christopher on said:

      Yes! Insane pain!!! It is hard to walk right now…

      • Jonathan on said:

        Blue balls are real, If you have them jerk off bro, we all do it. I had them I literally could not walk. I even called my father who is a medic, embarrassing conversation, he gave me two options I have blue balls or a torsion and should see a doctor. I figured since I wasn’t getting any from the lady but extreme teasing, “giving me a handjob and stopping over a period of three days, always with the promise maybe later”, I decided to jerk off as see the pain subsided, it did. They I finally got her to give me a blowjob and I covered her face, I warned her she didn’t listen.

  30. The best way to treat blue balls is to never get them in the first place. Just learn how to please a woman in bed and you won’t get them. A good place to start is to check out a book called the blue balls cure. That will at lease point you in the right direction to never get blue balls again.

  31. Ladies and gents – Please dont be upset or offended. This article was written to stir up debate. The author did not base this on fact or any medical research. Soley to stir up anger and debate. The term blue balls or vasocongestion is a documented condition of temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostate region, accompanied by acute testicular pain, or a prolonged dull aching pain emanating from the prostate, caused by prolonged and unsatisfied sexual arousal in the human male. Some urologists call the condition “epididymal hypertension”. The postscript is an attempt to further aggitate readers. There is a lot of information to educate young men and ladies on the internet, librarys, and in the class room. I dont not blame any of the males or females for their intitial reaction. Whether it be in agreeance or disgust. Please keep in mind the authors intention. Especially since she said “keep it coming”

  32. Brent on said:

    You are way off, lady. Blue balls can bring very intense pain that can last 6 hours. Is it the woman’s fault? Partially. Is it her responsibility to make it right? Of course not.

    It’s not as if most guys demand that women finish them off if they have blue balls. They just ask, maybe adding a bit of playful guilt. YOU CAN SAY NO.

  33. This article couldve been worded a bit different so you do not come off as hostile. Without getting mad at the author , and calling bs i will just explain my situation that happened a couple days ago.
    My situation didnt even involve a female.
    I have Multiple Sclerosis and for that i take heavy doses of pain medication which causes desensitivity. Well i was trying to jerk off and after 20 minutes it wasnt happening so i stopped. I suddenly got this immense pain in my whole entire lower region. My testis hurt to touch, my stomache was wrenched, and i couldnt walk right. I felt like i had a bladder full of piss and couldnt get it out. I started puking and getting dizzy .
    Well then i got insanely frustrated and finally rubbed it out. It still hurt for about 5-10 minutes afterwards but it finally receeded. Doing this made the pain 10x worse, so not getting it in the first place should be the goal, not relieving it afterwards.
    I dont know why the author decided to blame it on manipulation and piss everyone off but hey whatever, it got a great output if that is what you were shooting for.
    I am glad your post script you acknowledge that it does happen and isnt something that people just make up to try and get laid.

  34. Annoyed man on said:

    You should be ashamed. This article is total bullshit. You are spreading misinformation and I would even go so far as to say lies. There are women that are reading this and buying into this crap. Can’t you see how that could be potentially damaging? All because you have an opinion that you wanna try and pass as fact. It is currently 2:20am and I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because my testicles ache. My wife and I began to get intimate around 9 last night. So if the pain ( that is so bad that I can’t sleep) goes away this very instance it would have been 5 hours and 20 minutes. Not a few minutes of being uncomfortable. And I’m not trying to con anybody into getting me off. I could go wake my wife up right now if I wanted to. She loves getting me off. Stop telling people that this shit isn’t real. Hey men, P.M.S. isn’t real. Women are just bitches.

    • Rick Jones on said:

      Well…what can i say, i can only say that the validity in my opinion of this authors article can be as true as a social workers opinion on raising children when that social worker has not had children herself. I guess there may be some people who ride this subject as hard as they can with women to get what they want from them, but there are also others who actually really suffer from this condition.

      “engage your brain before you open your mouth on things you know nothing about”

  35. Philemon Kirlles on said:

    You know, you can be right that some men use an excuse to manipulate women. However, that doesn’t change the fact that you sounded ignorant and idiot. You sounded like your family’s and teachers’ efforts to educate you had failed. Best advice to you, go back to school!
    I am from a different culture and I speak a different language, still I was able to see how fragile you education is. Not only that, but also you have a deep disrespect toward men, which makes you a biased writer.
    You want another advice, instead of writing or even going back to school, just look back into your life history, so you can fined where the real problem coming from. fix your own life first, then begin spreading your false myth.

  36. Funny When I get blue balls I become angry so talking a woman into finishing me off is the last thing on my mind. And if you read this post it seems like it was wrote by a woman who wants to hurt or even bash men

  37. Skittles on said:

    This is the stupidest ass article I’ve ever seen written. I am sitting here googling “blue balls” because I have HORRIBLE throbbing pain in my balls, as if someone kicked me in the nuts an hour ago, and this idiot wants to write, “Man up, it’ll go away in a few minutes, it’s just a manipulation tool anyway?” IDIOT.
    My wife and I were having sex, going 69, both of us superbly hot and bothered. Baby girl wakes up, and proceeds to stay awake for an hour, it’s late when we started, wifey is too exhausted too finish, and now I’m writhing in horrid pain for an hour googling Blue Frigging Balls. Does that sound even remotely like “manipulation” or something that lasts a few minutes and “isn’t that bad”, you ignoramus? Why don’t you blog about something that you have knowledge about instead of writing about something you obviously have NO FREAKING CLUE about.
    Sorry if I’m cranky, as my BALLS ARE FREAKING KILLING ME!!!

    • Sorry about your pain. I hope that you feel relieved after pouring your frustration onto the author, If you were to read until the end, including the post script, you’d understand that no one is minimizing your experience, just explaining that sometimes it is mishandled.

      • No it’s not, this D*#%^E don’t have a clue and she thinks she knows “everything” so she can take what she is about to receive! First off if u don’t have balls, DONT comment! U can’t compare or even pretend to be able to compare. Just bc u googled a few things, that makes u a male with a dick and balls? No!!! That shits for the birds! U want me to explain how all women are unbelievable rediculous about getting their period? I didn’t think so.. Blue balls HURTS!! From a MAN!! Enough said!

    • Seriously! A chic must have wrote this. It’s a shitty feeling and it doesn’t just go away, you have to masturbate or it lingers until you

  38. I’m dissapointed in this article. I was with my gf for some time and things went, well, intimate. But I never finnished off. I never experienced blue balls before and never expected it, Didn’t even know what it was. but after an hour or so I found out really fast. At this time I was just starting work, and its lasted the whole damn time! What is an average work day!!! Not a few minutes at all! The pain is exactly the same as if you had just gotten kicked where the sun don’t shine, but for hours instead of for a few minutes to an hour at most. It still has a dull pain. I can’t imagine any guy wanting his balls being moved durring this time at all so maybe sex isn’t the best idea. However I found myself hunched over leaning on a wall gaging in pain and getting dizzy at the bad parts, it seems to get worse and worse then go back and forth for a few hours… If you would like the feeling of Freddy Krueger playing with your intestine be my guest I rather not have such problems, and yea maybe I could have taken care of buisness… But I was at work, so no it hurt the whole damn time, and beleive me its real, and lasts a long time.

    • And as a side note, if it is an ego pain would not asking for sex because it “hurts” be an even worse pain on the ego? Just food for thought

  39. The closest feeling to blue balls that someone can experience can be had doing the following.
    Blow up 15-20 balloons at the same time.
    After you have done the above, the sensation that you have around your mouth is what it feels like down there where things have been in a bloated state for much longer than they need to be in. Yes, your mouth will be fine after a while after you stop, but in case of blue balls, the uneasy sensation will not subside until you have knocked a few off and once out of your teens its difficult to knock a few on the same day.

  40. MutualRespect on said:

    When blood is trapped, it isn’t in circulation and therefore does not get re-oxygenated. Arteries are REd, and Veins are Blue…thus a blue tinge can occur if blood is trapped for an extended period of time without the chance to re-oxygenate.

    Is it real? Wrap a rubberband around the end of your index finger and see what happens. What does it feel like in the first couple of minutes? After an hour? Now things are a lot more complicated in the male groin area than an index finger. You can tap your finger on a table. Tapping a guy’s ball on a table is completely different. So imagine the ‘discomfort’ in your finger in a much more sensitive area. The ability to completely and entirely trap ALL the blood can differ between men, so the amount of blueness and/or pain can differ from man to man. Even event to event given the rapidity and strength of arousal.

    This does NOT mean it’s an excuse to manipulate a woman into sex. Certainly an icepack or ‘knocking one out’ will take care of the issue. So do not be taken advantage of by manipulative men. However, what do women need consider? Manipulation is not confined to one gender.

    Sometimes Dinner & a Movie can involve some ‘playfulness.’ A man shouldn’t have to risk getting arrested, or otherwise have the embarassment of needing to go into a public restroom and ‘knocking one out.’ If you’re going to have fun, try and limit it to within an hour of when the public portion of the evening is likely to end–even if you’re going home to separate locations.

    Now each man is different in the level of pain and its timing. And like anyone, men have a responsbility to take care of themselves and not get themselves trapped publically, when a moment of privacy is needed. But like No, means No…if a man requests you to stop being ‘playful’ for a period to allow some re-oxygenation…then Stop means Stop. He may not be trying to ruin your evening or being a spoil-sport. Each gender need to respect (and not be dismissive) the wants, needs, desires, and sensitivities of each other.

    • I was mislead wow, the things men do 4 sex. on said:

      I fell into this lie i was havin sex wit my fiance when he told me he had BLUE BALLS just to make him feel better i didn’t want him to b in pain so i would give in to make him feel better but no more if i dnt want to he better just pull out the hair conditioner or grease an get busy how bogus is it to tell yo girl she fuckin wit yo johnson cuz she dnt put out how low can u go!!!!! i made sure HE read the article so he cud see for himself tht he was BUSTED!!!!!!

    • WonderingWoman on said:

      Now THAT is information that would have been helpful to learn in high school!

  41. Ok yes some men do tend to use this excuse to just make a girl feel bad but this is definitely a false article. I am 23 and have experienced many cases of minor blue balls but one night as I was doing the deed with my g.f of more than 2 years i was a little tipsy so im assuming my sensitivity down there was slightly diminished, so i lasted for more than 4 hrs my g.f didn’t mind of course but sadly enough i didn’t release, anyways i fall asleep fine no pains just upset i didn’t fully satisfy myself. Woke up the next morning in excruciating pain i was swollen down below, i couldn’t finish myself off because of a cousins graduation ceremony so i went throughout the day just in serious pain i ended up leaving early just to relieve myself it was the worst case of blue balls i have ever experienced by the time i got to my apartment i ran into the bathroom and finished myself off thinking hey it worked before, sadly to say when i released there was thick blood in it it scared the fu*k out of me i panicked went to the urologist thinking i had some insane std he said it was hemotospermia prly spelt it wrong but google it….its caused by testicular trauma because i have high testosterone and either getting hit in the groin real bad or not releasing during prolonged sex sooooo article is false yes guys and girls, guys may abuse blue balls to get what they want but it EXISTS im not making this up…my g.f always asks if i have my period now…lol…but doc said go home rub it out for a few days and it diminished over time thank god no serious trauma lasted it is real don’t listen to this author she doesn’t understand….its a disgrace

  42. Elizabeth, US on said:

    I had never heard of this term until I overheard some guys in highschool talking about blue balls. So when i got home I asked my mom, never one to shy away from sex talk, she told me its when i guy has pain in his balls from not being sexually satisfied. Mystery solved right, wrong. I was never the type of girl to tease a guy, so i would say to them i’m wanting till marriage. Well needless to say i didn’t have any boyfriends in highschool. When college rolled around i met a man, gave him the same line, he was ok with that and we began dating. Well, during this time we did make out and he would become aroused never having been around an aroused man before i was curious and asked him about blue balls. He laughed and said it was tripe. He told me never fall for that line men used it to get sex. He said if a guy had a hard on then he could take the matter in hand and deal with it manually.
    During this time he was a Master Sargeant in the Rangers and he told me some of his men who would come back from their weekend leave and for what ever reason did not get satisfied sexually. These men would then not report because they were laid up in bed with blue balls.
    That being said, all men are different just as women differ from each other. For example, I suffer from very painful menstrual cramps to the point where I’m curled up in bed crying. Now growing up with this problem my mom would tell me oh you’re fine just get up and move around do some exercise you’ll feel better. Wrong, in fact moving around made the cramps worse. She never understood because she didn’t suffer with the cramps.
    So perhaps some men do suffer from blue balls I don’t know I’m not a man. What my husband told me differs greatly from all the other comments. Everyone handles pain differently so my husband may be in the category with my mother not feeling pain during her cycle while i on the other hand was in my mothers’ words a “cry baby.”
    All i know is that i would not have anyone feel the way i did growing up being confused already with my changing body to hear my mother dismissing my pain.
    For all you men that do suffer I don’t dismiss your pain.

  43. BlueballinginSc, USA on said:

    You really should consider retracting this article seeing as how it holds very little fact about a serious and real issue that you obviously know nothing about. Where did you get your info the local high school abstinence flyer or the local chapter for women’s lib. PS I hate blue balls and this article in very very wrong you should be embarrassed.

    • I was mislead wow, the things men do 4 sex. on said:

      Well i bleive wht she is sayn cuz it only happens whn he wants to do it n i dnt so he comes up wit the BLUE BALLS theory an i felt his balls n they do b a lil loose thn usual but come on.I will not fall 4 this shit no more.He is on his own LMMFAO….

  44. Indus, London on said:

    It’s immediately obvious from this article that it’s written by a woman, ironically also preying on the naivete of girls about the issue. Whereas of course it is wrong to try and coerce anyone to partake in sexual activity with you, the way that the phenomenon is presented obviously shows the author’s ignorance of what the experience is like.

    I am a man who gets a form of ‘blue balls’ or cramps often from any kind of intimacy with women. In fact, I am often respectful and patient, often attentive to the woman’s sexual needs as opposed to what I immediately want. However, I can tell you firsthand that when it happens (sometimes in sexual activity, sometimes even from just kissing a girl too long), it is a very painful, cramp-like feeling, akin to female period cramps. The pain lasts for a very long time and is quite enough to ruin the rest of your day and even cause problems when you’re actually trying to have sex. They say that ‘knocking one out’ can help relieve the pressure, but sometimes this doesn’t actually work and you’re still left with a sore lower body.

    I don’t mind if you’re going to encourage girls to keep control of their sex lives, but I’ll be damned if I’m told that it’s mainly just an ‘ego blow’. You clearly have no idea what owning a prostate gland is like.

    • Tone Capone on said:

      Did you get a doctors opinion if maybe you have some sort of condition that sort of mimics the blue balls people report? If my balls hurt enough to do the things I hear on this site, I would be worried that my boys were in danger of permanent damage.

  45. Jeff Elliott, San Diego, USA on said:

    I do commend you for allowing all the contrary comments however. This article though is basically no different than the attacks you are purporting to defend women from.

    It is based on pure assumption, one who purports to be a guiding light through a biased world should know better than to participate herself…

  46. Jeff Elliott, San Diego, USA on said:

    With all due respect, this article is not quite accurate and a little disrespectful to men in certain situations. Absolutely there are men who use this excuse to turn foreplay into sex but you make a critical error in the assumption of this article.

    Like women, stimulation for men comes from desire and passion, an aroused man is producing at a rapid rate if he is genuinely turned on by a girl and even the slightest touch can send that system into overdrive.

    It isn’t activated light a light switch and you can’t turn it on and off with contact.

    I tend to get blue balls the first time I am with a girl I like, it has led to more than a few mistunderstandings when sex became too painful to continue. Often girls assume that you aren’t that into them when the opposite is the case, it is the interest in them that drives the glands into a frenzy…

    The glands continue working long after the arousal and usually start before anything sexual happens. It is the possibility of sex that fires up the system and a lot of these guys are not lying, they are going home bowl-legged and in pain.

    I never have this problem when with a girl that I am only somewhat interested in, or sexually comfortable with. It comes from the maximum possible arousal of meeting someone you are very attracted to for the first time. That by itself can cause this effect.

  47. Wow, USA on said:

    I think it’s so funny when blind feminists form such a polarized cult that they negate scientific facts about the male anatomy. It’s like males saying that child birth pain, pregnancy emotions, and menstrual rages are just 3 ways women rationalize the deep need to act out of line, crazy, emotional, and downright disgraceful.

    • Tone Capone on said:

      as long as blue balls continue to be used to manipulate girls into into having their first sexual experience I think other fathers of little girls like myself would much rather have their little girls dismiss it as if it never existed instead of falling victim to someone who may or may not be in enough pain to justify getting angry at someone for not being ready when his nuts decide its time for him to release pressure no still means no even if you have blue balls. hopefully my daughters will not believe in it for a second its not their fault some people never learn to respect the wishes of others.

  48. This article is written from the point of view of someone who hasn’t experienced “blue balls”. While it is correct that men will use this condition to overcome women’s objections, it is not necessary. No woman should feel bad or be forced to continue sex if she wishes to stop because her partner wants to keep going. Although it is not a myth that blue balls exist. It should not be used to force a woman to continue having sex with you.

    As I’m writing this my girlfriend and I just finished having sex and I am experiencing the effect of blue balls right now. It is a dull pain in my testicles. To be honest, for me ejaculation will cause more pain in my testicles but will relieve the pressure. If I don’t cum I will simply finish myself.

    Today, however I’m not going to finish. The pain is not as unbearable as men will make it sound and tonight, there will be more ejaculate than normal. Which is good since we are trying to get pregnant.

  49. Yeah, right on said:

    I love women. Almost too much, perhaps. But your article, as others have said, is complete unadulterated horseshit on a platter.

    I’m dating a girl who just turns me on to no end. I had her over at my place and we made out for a few hours. It turns out she’s not comfortable going all the way yet. Being a gentleman, I don’t push the issue and I walk her home. On the way there, the pain in my stomach, abdomen and balls almost made me want to just sit on the sidewalk and curl up in a ball and die.

    The point here is not to bitch and moan. It is however, to point out that it’s very real and hurts like a mother. And to assume that it’s only used by guys to coerce women into sex is both incorrect and leads me to believe you have had interactions with an overwhelming number of douchebags. As others have noted, what you’ve done is the equivalent of men saying menstrual pain or giving birth is no big deal. I’m not quite sure how to say this eloquently, but…how the fuck would you know?

  50. me, sydney on said:

    Lol this is the stupidest article in the world. How would u know what what blue balls is? Its not a pain in the testes its a pain that circulates through the lower back and abdomen. Its not an.excuse to manipulate girls but u really have no.clue. this is just feminist.crap.

  51. Alex, Canada on said:

    I think the author is probably a little misinformed about where the feeling takes place. And I’ve had the feeling, it’s unpleasant. But i think the men who’ve read this article are a over reacting a little bit. It’s probably not any more severe then the pain women deal with when they have menstrual cramps. Pardon my sexism but, men, if your partner’s not ready deal with the pain like a woman. And suck it up. Sex is great, but it’s not the most important part of a relationship

  52. Kenneth, TX, USA on said:

    It really ticks me off that a woman would write this when she has no idea about blue balls. Trust me when I say it is very real and I have dealt with it my whole adult life. I would never write an article about an issue I had no experience on, for example… about a women period and how they don’t really get bloated and have pain. That’s so wrong when you know nothing about it. I not saying women should have sex because of it but to act as though it’s not true is just wrong…I hope you’ll do a little more research next time you go to write an article you know nothing about.

  53. What a load of crap!

    Sure, there are some misconceptions about blue balls. But blue balls as simply a manipulation device? Please. I’m a man in my early 20s and I occasionally get “blue balls”. It does happen.

  54. Guy, USA on said:

    Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. I’m marking this article a 1 because I can point out its inaccuracy from what’s happening to me as I type this.

    This is also a good time to disagree with the proverb that “laughter is the best medicine” because I red the article and couldn’t help but laugh a little AND IT WAS ONLY MAKING THE PAIN WORSE!

    I won’t say that women have it any easier than men. I admit that I have no experience at being a woman. And it’s not like guys have to worry about being called a slut for acting too promiscuous. I acknowledge that women have their own struggle, but please don’t take it out on our balls!

  55. Joe, United States on said:

    Well, Its a real thing, Scientifically termed, “Vasocongestion.” Women have one bigish egg, while men produce millions of flagella wagging sperm swimming like hell to be the lucky winner. If a woman doesn’t use her egg she menstruates. It is severely uncomfortable and can cause pain in the abdomen and ovaries. Menstruation can also cause changes in demeanor and mood, thus, changes in decision making.

    What I am suggesting is that “blue balls” is a shorter term form of male menstruation. Think about it: Testes and abdomen hurt, hormones are released in mass,and changes in mood and demeanor do occur.

    So yeah, id say some things just to get laid…..

  56. Matt, Australia on said:

    From my own experience I’d have to say that any man who talks a woman into sex on the pretense of him having blue balls must be manipulating her, simply put the times I’ve had blue balls myself I’ve had such painful testicles (and all the way into my abdomen) that the idea of the pressure on them from thrusting or being bounced up and down on is horrifying (tried sex with blue balls only once.) Even walking is only done slowly and with legs far apart. Release helps but that ache can still hang around from 2 hours til the next day.
    Girls: if you want to help a guy with blue balls, blowjob or handjob only, please, and go easy.

  57. Cameron, WI, USA on said:

    My balls and stomach hurt really bad right now. You can guess that I was just with a girl. I was searching the internet for an easy answer to get rid of the pain, but instead I wound up on this website claiming that my pain essentially doesn’t exist and that I want to manipulate women. I agree 100% with Tony.

  58. Brett brideau on said:

    Ok.. First off no offense but who ever wrote this is either in experienced or a woman because if you had blue balls even the orgasm is extremely painfull I’m sure there are people who have used this as an excuse but having had blue balls throughout the past ten years of my life the orgasm causes relief but is ten times more painfull than that of the blue ball tension itself..
    At least for me I usually soak in hot water and sleep it off than release the fluid because if you have ever had blue balls immidiate release of fluids feels like death

  59. Vega, san antonio on said:

    Blue Balls is real and a horrible painful experience. This article just pissed me off because I know all to well of how painful blue balls is. I have had trouble walking straight from the pain. I’m sure that all men are different and have different levels of pain, but this article makes it sound like it’s nothing or no big deal. This article is full of ignorance.

    The pain of Blue Balls also just doesn’t go away in a few minutes if you don’t relieve yourself. It can take over 8 hours.

    The fact is that the article is misinforming and I hope females reading this don’t take it as factual information. It’s almost as if this writer has it out for men.

  60. Internet Fraud on said:

    The Internet is such a great place for (mis)information. You can post anything you want and it doesn’t have to be true. I have been married since college, dated in high school, and have no reason to manipulate her into sex. I used to work with bands, touring the world, and I have had blue balls a couple of times in my life. The pain is very real and would have prevented me from doing my job (was almost at the point of preventing me from walking) if I hadn’t taken care of it myself. This is not always possible when you live with 10 other people on a tour bus.

    Please check your facts before making sexist accusations. I’m sorry if you have had a traumatic experience with men, but we’re not all sex crazed foaming-from-the-mouth dogs. In fact, I want sex far less than my wife does.

  61. John, Memphis tn on said:

    To the last poster. Read all the posts before spewing nonsense. Many reasonable guys explained their situations in detail. Yes. You can whack it. Some guys have personal reasons as well as professional obligations where they can’t just “whack it”. Yes guys think about sex alot and some don’t always have the ability to just rub one out. I’m personally in a situation now where I haven’t had sex in a while. Have not decided to masturbate due to being in a public living situation. So yeah I could have jacked off in the shower but it only became an issue today. Im hurting like a mother, so screw you dude.

  62. luke stables, london, england on said:

    okay i fully believe that females can get blue balls too, but geez let me tell you it doesnt dissapear in a couple of minuites, maybe i have extra labido or somthing but blue balls has the power to put a guy on his knees and out of action for up to 3 days, it is not fun, its a constant aching pain and it feels like youve been kicked in the balls by a horse.

  63. Bottom Line, USA on said:

    Have read the entire contents of the postings here. Just here to say that blue balls are not fiction … but fact. May be a bit candid here, but here I go.

    Background: 60 year old male here. Been very sexual my whole life and to this day have no need for Viagra or any of that crap. My need for sex is just the same today as it was when I was 20 or 30 and feels just as great! Have not had sexual contact with another for about 6 years. Know this is totally pathetic … lol. Everything is done “by hand” here. Have probably have blue balls about 20 times or so during my life … So much pain !!! …

    Refuse to get into … how men use the “blue balls” excuse to get sex from women anymore than how women use the “I have a headache” excuse to get out of it.

    Being very sexual my whole life I have found that … the more sexual thoughts your mind thinks … The more your nads will respond. To ignore this … Painful.

    Just go for it … Wank away … relief comes in about 1/2 hours on average for me.

  64. jonathon williams on said:

    This author is completely misinformed about blue balls. First of all blue balls are a very real phenomena that can last for hours. Your testicles ache a lot and it is somewhat debilitating at times. However the last thing I want is to have sex when I have blue balls. The last thing a man wants is to have his nuts jostled around from sex during this condition. Very gentle masturbation can relieve this but honestly I just want to lie down for a few hrs when this happens. Ok so maybe some rape victims heard their attacker use the blue ball excuse. The sicko rapist would have done it anyway! Don’t dispell the condition because of that. Feminist bullshit propaganda. I’m going to start saying that period cramps are a myth and childbirth really doesn’t hurt that bad.

  65. CCR, UK on said:

    How dare you write such tripe. As a man, when I have had to break off sex after a long period of arousal, not only do I get groin ache and pain of fairly severe discomfort, it will carry on for hours, even days before ejaculation relieves it. I am truly angry you spread mistruth like this to others. You should apologise and do some proper research before you come out with this idiocy.
    One seriously angry man.

  66. bob, london on said:

    I suggest the authors experiences the pain that starts in the testicles and radiates all the way to the lower back before she shares her uninteresting biaised opinion and makes it come across as scientific evidences of male manipulation. It looks to me that she applies her own thinking pattern to the male population. Blue balls is an excruciating generalized pain to the lower back and it is a reality. I find this article intellectually dishonest.

  67. Dswain, Indiana on said:

    Dinah you saucy tart.. you sound like a lesbian. Its cool, i love a challenge, throw me an email. David morrison, i agree. whenever i would get the blues i would say, “good evening all” and pull an all night yankfest. Its the only way to wake up the next morning and avoid that ice cold shower washing away the remains of a wet dream.

    I will admit i have used the blue ball technique. Oh boo hoo now!
    dont give me those words of critisism, she was hot, naked and straddling me like i was the bull and she was holding on for dear life. If she didnt want it and expected me to push her off we would have kept our clothes on and been sitting on opposite sides of the couch reading documentaries of the late Dr. Martin Luther King.

    You want to talk about being manipulative?
    If women was a first name, manipulative would be the middle. Women manipulate men more times in one day then men do to women in a month. the least we can get out of it is a lay here and there, preferably everynight. Its like men are the government and women are the citizens trying to find loopholes in a messed up system. atleast we get a tax- its called sex. Thats right you ten toe tease, you mess with the “quaker” you get the “state”. As in “state”ment. My statement being women whine to damn much, if women want sex all they have to do is say “hey, you wanna do it”, if men want sex… well now….candy, flowers, dinner, compliments on how swell you look, then maybe the occasional, “oh what? you wannna dry hump me like a rocket falling from the sky but dont wanna go all the way. tell ya what you zesty bull rider, take off those panties im gonna stick my horn in you, its tax time baby, YEAAHH.
    Men are manipulative.. pshht

  68. Lamar, los angeles on said:

    blue balls is real and it hurts more than any woman could ever guess at..and it’s different for everyone. I’m 46, and began experiencing regular blue balls after an injury to my testicles. My doctor said if orgasm relieves the pain, then to have more orgasms. Of course we could just masturbate when it gets painful, but when you’re in a sexual relationship, that’s not always wise. Unless you’re a man who can have multiple orgasms in a day, when your partner gets home and wants sex, then what? I’m spent already and waiting for my juices to rejuvenate usually means that they are out of the mood..and it starts again. The blue balls manipulation of girls by boys is just that..young folks..and they can’t be used for any serious discussion of sexual issues besides the purely functional..when it involves adult situations, there is no across the board answer.

  69. liam, england on said:

    i am an 18 year old male and i am suffering with it as i type this, the pain has lasted an hour and a half so far and is wearing off, but for the first half an hour it was painful enough to stop me walking and kill my appetite,
    i agree the pain is bearable and isn’t as bad as some people may make out (for me at least) but by no means is it a pain that u can just ignore it is actually a long and deep ache, i have had it many times after sex not involving orgasm but have never asked for help but have had it offered to me before,
    from my experience people are fairly well informed what it is and don’t mind offering a hand without sex and without feeling pressured into having to help

    (although im not saying it doesn’t happen and i’m ashamed on behalf of my sex for the people that do use it to force intercourse )

  70. this is not what blue balls is

    blue balls actually is a real and painful (in a prolonged dull ache kinda way) experience

    whether a guy uses that to manipulate a woman is completely irrelevant to the definition

    completely.

    this article is not well written
    this article is medically flawed
    this article is drivle

  71. Wow this article actually makes me angry.

    You can tell it has been written by a woman who has no idea AT ALL.

    I get really bad cases of blue balls. basically in simple terms every time a man gets an errection the testicales create sperm. If this keeps happening over a cerain period of time without orgasm. the sperm is continously created and with no where to go the sperm builds and the balls expand. Once they reach their limit blue balls takes effect and the pain begins. the only way to cure it is to ejaculate or sleep it off. and even if you ejaculate the pain still lasts for hours.

    I can promise you women do not have the equivalent.

    When blue balls gets really bad. The pain is so much that its hard to even keep an errection tp ejaculate in the first place.

    The author of this article needs to be banned from the Internet before she starts posting up her laughable opinions and trying to pass them off as facts. YOU ARE WRONG!!!

  72. David Morison, United States on said:

    Dinah, you are right on. Don’t let these whiny dudes fool you.

    I’m 42 and I have lots of practice with being aroused for long periods of time. There is a super easy solution.

    Masturbate! Don’t have time? It takes 2 minutes in the bathroom. You will still be able to get aroused and have sex with your partner later. Jeez, stop whining already and wank it once or twice.

    Guys are so controlled by their penises that they even rationalize their behavior in these comments. Guys are master manipulators.

  73. Man, Belgium on said:

    I have a varicocele in my left testicule, I had surgery but it did not help me much.

    Whenever I am highly aroused sexually (for instance after forplay), and do not reach orgasm, the ONLY solution for me is to lay on my back and sleep it out!!! The pain only disappears only towards the end of the next day.

    Your article might be true for men which have NORMAL circulation in their testicules, but not for all men. Thank you for not posting such “lies” online.

    How would you feel about a man writing about a woman’s pregnancy? How can you write about something you have never felt or experienced?

    Anyhow, very bad article.

  74. pain&pleasure, Toronto on said:

    AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE IS A MORON
    Blue Balls are WAY more intense than the author describes, and this is not surprisingly written by a female. So much misinformation wow. She writes this feeling isn’t that bad and go’s away in a few minutes LOL!! You wanna know exactly what it feels like? It feels like… not getting hit in the balls right away, but rather what your balls feel like after getting hit in the balls, that throbbing pain, but it LASTS LONG unlike getting hit in the balls. It’s just hours of pain, can’t walk, can’t do anything. Even if you releave yourself after, the pain is still there for a good half hour or so… obviously not as bad if you didn’t, but still there. So ya bimbo, don’t write stuff like the ‘truth about’ something if you can’t even get the basics correct. At the bottom she writes that females experience a similar feeling, LOL! Yeh ok! You know all the girls just in PAIN to get relief *rolls eyes.. maybe some small insignificant way, but don’t equal it to a pain I only wish you could feel. God I hate the spread of misinformation, especially its so blatantly biased and ignorant.

  75. Darren, UK on said:

    What a load of rubbish this article is. I’m 25 and been with my fiance for just over 6 years now… I only came accross this ‘article’ because me and my partner have been sexually aroused for days but haven’t been able to find the time to ‘get down’ because of our children, visitors etc… When we finally are alone it’s 4am and the children will be up in a matter of hours… Anyway, I have been aching down below for these past 3 days and trust me, I’ve had to stop wearing boxers because they’re too tight and it’s agony walking, going to the toilet hurts, walking hurts, when my partner gives me a playful touch – it hurts up to the pit of my stomache! What’s even worse is (and I’m sure some of you in serious relationships will agree) when I do climax after ‘blue ball syndrome’ it’s gonna hurt worse for a while straight after… But at least then it’ll subside… The wait for some alone time is killing me also lol.

    • Tone Capone on said:

      Maybe you should try hooking each other up with porn breaks, by taking turns taking the kids to the park while the other relieves themselves before calling everyone to come home.

  76. TeenInPain, wowow on said:

    Yeah, it definitely isn’t true that it goes away in a few minutes. Still in pain and it has been a while. And it isn’t just a little aching pain, it’s a constant pain, and it my balls move even the slightest I want to just fucking cut the bitches off.

  77. All I can say is “Lady, get your facts straight!”. Sure, bad people of both genders manipulate in many ways. Just because someone might use threats of suicide to manipulate a partner are you going to diminish all those who truly suffer from depression? Minimizing the pain of this condition because the threat of it may be used to pressure someone to doing something they’d rather (not finish) is unethical. And ironically you’ve minimized the very men that most women would like to have in their lives, you know, the nice guys. They’re more likely to experience this condition since they’re gentlemen enough not to push the issue.
    I’ve just started dating a woman that I find very attractive. I had known her for a little while before we had our first dinner date. All evening while I sat across the table from her I absolutely could not help being aroused. After taking her home and parting with a hug, I went home and suffered all night long. I couldn’t do anything about it. I masturbated for nearly an hour with no luck. I couldn’t sleep a wink and the next day I still felt like crap, and it wasn’t just the lack of sleep. I’ve had this happen several times before and figured it was called “blue balls” because it felt like someone hauled off and kicked you in the testicles so that they were “black and blue”. That is how it feels. It’s painful to walk because the testicles are swollen and it feels like you need to urinate when you don’t need to. And it can last for the better part of a day. It’s not the momentary trivial discomfort you contend it is. I will get to deal with this for a while since my new partner won’t be ready to take that step for some time. It’s uncomfortable and distressing but I’ll live.
    I cannot imagine how you expect men to have empathy for women’s problems when you show such flagrant disregard for an authentic male issue. What would you think if a man published an article where he wrote “Menstrual cramps, oh, they’re nothing at all”?

  78. Will, Florida USA on said:

    I just came accross this article because I am a man in my 40′s who can barely walk, feel like I’ve just been kicked in the testicles, and like I’m terribly constipated. The pain is in my testicles and lower front abdomen and it REALLY hurts. I just googled “Can an older guy get blueballs” and this came up. I’m getting married in 2 weeks, and we are Christians trying to avoid intercourse until marriage. We’ve been separated geographically for many months, so figured that we could hold out for a couple of weeks. My advice for all men is: have sex or don’t have sex. Fooling around for hours and then not ejaculating REALLY CAUSES BLUEBALLS. Dinah, please do not get your info about men from women. My friends and I laugh our heads off at times seeing articles in Cosmo or other womens mags that are shockinglky inaccurate re: mens issues. I don’t mean to be overly critical, but this article falls into that camp.

  79. I was profoundly celebate for ten years prior to marriage. In our twenty-six years together, we make love on average of once per month. Conversations result in empty promises and nothing more. I am broken, angry, and sad. I married for life and will be faithful to my vows. I will never reach anything near my full potential in life because of the emotional blue balls. My self esteme is on life-support. I didn’t expect to spend most of my married life in celebacy as will. I asked God to receive this as a form of fasting. It hurts to have my love rejected for so long. Sisters, be kind toyour husbands, we are human too.

  80. Not to sound sexist but it’s not really a womens place to talk about the pain that stems from blue balls (just as it isn’t a mans place to speculate on menstruel pain). BB are a very real thing and they’re very painful. If I get aroused for a period of time and don’t complete the act at hand then I have at least 2-30 hours of genital pain to look forward to that can’t be totally taken care of by any OTC medication.

    I will definitely admit to using the line “I need to finish or I’ll have blue balls” and I’m not the least bit ashamed of that fact. I wouldn’t force a sex act on anyone no matter the pain but I have the right to try and talk someone into continuing whatever we’re doing that made me so aroused. Talking and convincing is part of the sexual game in many cases, what’s wrong with wanting relief?

  81. Blue balls are real.

    Not every man deals with it, but it is real. Mine are painful as hell. After a week it turns into a nerve pain covering half my lower body, not my ego. It was minor as an early teen but became increasingly more serious through my late 20s. I understand women have similar problems, but like I heard Gloria Steinem once say, (and I paraphrase) I know there are people in the world who have worse pain and problems than I, but why would you have to diminish my pain and my problems. Mine are still very real.
    Ladies, you don’t have to believe in blue balls, but you will get from your man what you give him. The goal is of feminism is equality, not vengeance. Equality will come from us not diminishing the others problems, but acknowledging and trying to understand them with respect.
    I understand that you didn’t mean to make it an attack on men, but telling me that my pain and problems are manipulative lies? That’s like a man claiming a woman’s tears are blackmail. It’s disrespectful and it’s sexist. People feel what they feel and if you are in denial of the male struggle you will alienate men who want to respect your struggle. As for the “it goes back to normal in time” thing. Outright lie. Blue balls is not a problem that you can ignore until it goes away, not if you want to maintain a relationship with the man anyway. It plays havoc on the hormones and can cause conflict inside his head.
    To quote a friend of mine, “I have brain and a penis and only enough blood for one at a time.”
    If you don’t understand what that means, study the gender variations on the brain and at a basic level it will make more sense.
    Also before you make anymore attacks… err, “observations” about male sexuality, go study gender variations on sexual peptide interactions in the brain. There are very obvious physiological differences that will make gender equality make a lot more sex with regards to how we as animals are programed to see and treat each other. It helped me overcome my “inner chauvinist” but only mostly as chauvinism is chivalry’s conjoined twin and no matter where the feminist movement goes, I refuse to get rid of the chivalry. I was raised by a single mother with feminist ideals and degree in psychology. I saw her struggle and will always respect women and their unique problems, but these attacks on men will only push your cause the opposite direction. Feminism will only work if men listen, right? It goes both ways, equality will only work if both sides listen.

    Of course, well before this, many women have already stopped reading. They’ve committed the most universal of human mistakes. They saw an opinion that defied their preconceived notion of someone else problems and decided that it can’t be true and read another post. In that way, all humans are equal. And like all other problems based on presumption, subconscious behavior, and raw animal instinct, the only way to fix it is through conscious choice. Please make the conscious choice to learn, consider, respect, and not diminish anyone’s struggle. It’s what us “good guys” are trying to do. It’s what I’ve done with my wife for the last 12 years together and will continue for the rest of my life.

  82. andysmrs1, scotland on said:

    my husband had blue balls which WAS NOT MY FAULT!!! i miscarried 5weeks ago, he was able to satisfy me, thats when i go out my best for him and no matter how many positions or oral made him cum.

  83. Michael on said:

    I would like to say that merely because some men may use ‘blue balls’ as a means to pressure or blackmail someone to have sex, it does not mean that it is a myth or that it is responsible for momentary mild discomfort. In my case, it is something I experience after prolonged periods of arousal without relief (there are occasions when masturbation is simply not possible) and can vary from serious discomfort lasting a few hours (even after orgasm) to absolute crippling pain (similar in intensity to being kicked hard in the groin) at it’s peak lasting for a couple of hours and then decreasing to severe discomfort for the best part of a day thereafter. The pain endured is far from a triffling matter.
    This, however, is not to say that it should be used to coerce somebody to engage in sex. If there is the time/place to engage in sex, then masturbation should be equally feasible!

  84. Heen, Vancouver on said:

    I’m a 19 year old male and I have been experiencing blue balls for about 5 years now. There are a few points that this article is absolutely mistaken about, leading me to think that the author simply did not do his/her research.

    - Firstly, I do agree with your point that some men use it as a manipulation tool. That being said, I have never done this, as I think it is dishonest and cruel. Also, I’ve discussed the topic with many men, and all of them have agreed that it is unfair to use it as a method of manipulation. Apparently you think we’re all a lot worse people than we are. There will always be manipulative jerks; which gender they are has absolutely nothing to do with it. We are surrounded by tools of manipulation, but I can assure that this one is by no means fictional.

    - Secondly, blue balls last a lot longer than a few minutes. The only reason I stumbled across this article is because I’ve been suffering from a congested prostate for a few hours now, and was looking for some kind of cure, or at least a temporary way to ease the pain. An ice pack usually helps, as does stretching. I don’t like to mention that I have blue balls to girls, because they all seem to think they don’t exist and automatically assume I’m trying to manipulate them. So I suffer in silence, while they wonder why I’m walking strangely and holding my lower abdomen while grimacing.

    I’m assuming that the extent of blue balls differs in severity from man to man, as does every physical ailment. I simply wanted to post this comment to hopefully clear things up a bit. Consider yourself informed.

    And please do your research before posting an article next time :)

    • Thanks, Heen, for the insight. Your experience indeed enriches the article. Apologies if it sounded like an accusation of all males, which it was not intended to be. It was, in fact, reviewed by a handful of males, but as you have illustrated, in matters of the human body, generalizations are always problematic.

  85. Angus, if you read about women who suffer from Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, you will discover that it is not unlike the level of discomfort that you discribe, but it doesn’t always pass as quickly.

    Apart from this, unsatisfied arousal in women can be highly uncomfortable even to women without this blood drainage disorder.

  86. Angus, Brisbane/Australia on said:

    the pain seriously makes you feel sick in the stomach. You simply don’t understand. I really can’t support the notiton that unacheived female orgasm is quite the same.

  87. I’ve had it on many occasions, it happens after being aroused for almost an hour, the pain starts usually after urinating. I can only describe it as INTENSE stomach ache, but in the bladder area. Your testicles are also very sensitive, just touching it causes pain, walking is sometimes unbearable. The intense pain can last almost 2 hours, the best you can do is masturbate ASAP to relief the pain. I think most people doubt BB because most release way before this can even happen.

  88. Jeorge, Romania on said:

    The author of this article makes a few confusions and presents a distorted view. It is not a description of the fact, but an tendentious interpretation of it.
    The term “blue balls” neither refers to the desire of intercourse, nor to the penis erection, as the author tends to suggest.
    Blue balls is the deep, long lasting physical pain, induced by prolongated sexual arouse.
    From my own experience, in severe cases the pain lasted up to ~6 hours, and once it settled, was not relived by an orgasm.
    Of course some men would sometimes use this fact to get more sex, just like they would use any other opportunity for that matter. But to present this as just an evil scheme men apply to “naive females” is just prove of the author’s own naivety.

  89. Nada, Prague on said:

    I cannot claim to understand the blue ball feeling, but I have worked at a rape crisis center and i’ve heard numerous girls report how they were manipulated by such story. Maybe the good guys would never dream of being so cruel but lots of the creepy males out there don’t hesitate to be crap.

  90. Kenneth on said:

    This article is absolutely ridiculous, such feminist drivel as pointed out above.

    I’m in my 20′s and have had “blue balls” many times since I was a teen, but NEVER have I used it as an excuse to be brought to completion. After two years with my partner I believe I only asked them to help me once or twice, but this was of their own accord, and should they have said no, It wouldn’t have been a problem, and I would’ve handled it myself.

    Apparently you have no idea how bad the pain can get… The pain keeps me from eating, going to the bathroom, and even WALKING! As Tony stated above, the discomfort can last for about 20 hours at most.

  91. Tony2, Jacksonville, USA on said:

    I have to agree with Tony from Canada on many points, and I would like to add a few.

    I am approaching 40, and can say that I never used “Blue Balls” as a means to coerce any woman to ever do anything. But, I can also say that the pain and discomfort resulting from a few hours of fooling around that doesn’t end in climax can last a lot longer than a few minutes.

    I have had trouble walking the day after due to the soreness. While it does subside; the discomfort can be noticeable for 20 hours. Maybe some men are more susceptible than others; maybe it depends on the amount of time spent in an aroused but unfulfilled state, I don’t know.

    Again, I never used this to try to get further than my partners were comfortable. But, I will say that I did cut short some dates that were obviously not ending with sex because I did not want to spend the next day hurting.

  92. arianne, Usa on said:

    I agree Tony. Men use blue balls to manipulate women? What gender feminist sexist drivel. Where I come from blue balls is about how we hold out, or play up until a point- hardly the way you characterized it?

  93. Tony, Canada on said:

    I’m a man in my 40s and haven’t experienced blue-balls since I was a teenager. At that time in my life my body was different than it is now. I recall getting an erection in class in high school for no obvious reason except (on reflection) that I wasn’t having regular sexual release (i.e., ejaculation). Even if I had regular ejaculation I believe that the blossoming “hair-trigger” nature of my sexual stage of life would have lead to inopportune erections.

    My opportunities for masturbation were limited and I was somewhat uncomfortable with the practice. I did it, but infrequently. I have since changed. But I’m 48. I’m not a teenager.

    I had high school girlfriend and while we never had intercourse or oral sex we did engage in petting at her home (when her parents were in bed). Many, many times I felt an intense deep ache in my testicles and lower back after an evening of sexual excitement. I didn’t for a considerable period of time understand why I had this pain.I had never heard of “blue-balls”. Somehow I eventually figured it out. My pain was always gone the morning after after “wet-dreams”.

    I decided that I couldn’t handle the sexual stimulation of a girl if I couldn’t get sexual release with her. She, like me, was young. We both had the desire but feared and never had the relaxed opportunity for sex.

    Nevertheless, I wanted a girlfriend who wanted sex and who was comfortable with it and forthcoming. It took a year to find such a girlfriend. I met her in university She was a few years older than me.

    She educated and astounded me. We both had the desire and the opportunity for sex. She was far more sexual that I believed a woman could be. She wanted sex all the time. She was very comfortable with her body and her sexuality. It wasn’t uncommon for us (usually initiated by her) to have sex five to six times a day. She wanted and did everything. It was an epiphany.

    I never had blue-balls with her. Both of us enjoyed ourselves immensely.

    I believe that it’s possible that young men may (and do on occasion) use the argument of blue-balls to coerce sex. It may sometimes be a false pretence but if my experience is any judge blue-balls reflects a real and natural need.

    I now look at it as a function of sexual maturity and the availability of a safe / private place to have sex. Seventeen year old boys and girls are mismatched. I think that both need a 20 year old sexually mature partner (relatively speaking) who has his/her own place to privately engage in sexual intercourse, oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.

    It is fundamentally a supply-demand problem. At a certain age (for many of us) that problem disappears.

    While I believe that the pain of “blue-balls” can be falsely used by young men to coerce sex I don’t believe it is generally exploitative. My ex-teenage girlfriend contacted me when she (and I) were twenty. We hadn’t been in contact with each other in three years. She told me that she wanted to be with me, that she had changed (a euphemism for being comfortable with sex).

    I felt bad because by that time I was in a fulsome sexual relationship. She had reached the stage that my current girlfriend was at. I wasn’t willing to dump my girlfriend for her (even though I was still very fond of her) because she was now ready.

    In summary, I think your article reflects naivete. Your paragraph (as follows) is based on a profound level of misinformation: “Just give it a few minutes, and all will go back to normal. The blood vessels that constrict to entrap all the blood in the genitals begin to relax once stimulation is reduced, so the blood slowly seeps back out. Any discomfort will disappear, as though it was never there.” It is completely untrue. It’s a statement that reflects ignorance of biological reality.

    If the Dinah Project wants to communicate sexual information it should only use writers who are informed and critical of sexual ideology and mythology. This article does a severe disservice to young men and women who are discovering their sexual side of their being.

  94. flippyEd on said:

    I meant properly not probably in the post above. Sorry, Mother Fucking Idiots! Lol, just joking with the vulgarity. It was a reference to hostility for those who did not catch it.

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