Tantric Dating: Tantra for Singles

Images of tantra usually show couples embraced or even intertwined in sex. Yet tantra – in its mission to bring about physical and spiritual connection, is not the exclusive realm of couples.

The principles of tantra, which are traditionally expounded by lovers working together and developing various elements of their relationship, are just as pertinent to singles in their relationship with themselves, their process of finding a lover or just being sexual outside of a committed relationship.


Tantra focuses on connection. This doesn’t mean that an individual without a partner is incomplete, but rather that the fundamental connection is to yourself. This means finding respect for yourself and developing a positivism that will serve your ability to meet others and to develop a strong sexual and spiritual relationship when you are ready.

Tantra deals with energies and dating is very often about testing out the energy that passes between two people as they try to get to know each other. Tantra, however, tries to seek out the kind of energetic connection that is not just physical, but which looks deeper into a person’s character and seeks spiritual connectivity that would support a stronger relationship. Developing this bond would also grow the sensual closeness and the sexual enjoyment.

In order to date in tantric style, a person should practice tantra on her own. The exercises, from self-consciousness to breathing to touching, will all be constructive for self-esteem and confidence. The will give the practitioner a sense of personal completeness, which will aid the creation of a healthy relationship.

Finding Him or Her

Tantra encourages its practitioners to look beyond a person’s external features and relate to the energy, or the chemistry which exists between you. That means opening yourself up to a larger pool of dates, because you shouldn’t be limiting the prospective partners by factors such as income, age, race, or physical dimensions.

People often believe they are attracted to a specific set of physical features. Tantra would have them seek out the type of attraction that is not necessarily physical (although it should become so), but is essentially energetic.

By promoting the divinity of each individual, pure physical attraction is sidelined, but not disregarded. Whatever the level of physical attraction at the beginning of a relationship, it as a subjective force and should therefore grow and strengthen by the passion and practice of tantra.

Sex Outside of a Long-Term Relationship

A lot of tantra teachers don’t dare deal with open sexual relationships. They focus on couples, using tantra to rejuvenate or upgrade stayed relationships. This leaves singles feeling that tantra has no place for them, when in fact this is a limited view of what it has to offer.

Tantra doesn’t mean going on a date as a pretext to certain sex. Tantric dating bases itself on the same set of principals that makes tantric sex so powerful. On the one hand you develop anticipation, appreciation and consideration, giving it all the elements of a great occasion. On the other hand, tantra is egalitarian and a celebration of each other’s spectacularity. There is no place for games.

The humanistic nature suggests that sex is a possible, natural outcome of a tantric association, irrespective of the status of your relationship. No-one is being told that women need to act differently from men, because no-one is giving you any laws. It teaches you to be grounded and follow your own dictates, to respect yourself and your partner, and enjoy both.

More on Unearthing Tantric Sex

One comment on “Tantric Dating: Tantra for Singles

  1. I know this article is over four years old, if you wrote it, I would like to thank you. I agree with 100% of it and appreciate the key connection in tantra being energy sharing. I teach tantra with the hope that my students will enlarge their energy bodies and learn the magnetizing effect of them on others.


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