Synthetic Hugs vs. Synthetic Orgasms

Introducing the “Hug Me Jacket”. The up-and-coming designer who fathered it is Si Chan. He describes it as a piece that makes the wearer feel “warm and hugged”. He says that everybody needs love. Hmmm, matchmaker Si, if only everybody could afford £800 ($1,280) – as you would have it – there’d be no loneliness in the world, no broken hearts and a nose-dive in the STD rates. Or do those hands do more than just clasp each other?

Tantrists would note that this jackets places hands on all but three of the chakras: the perineum, the brow and the crown (below the genitals and above the neck). With the exception of the mind, it has a good grasp on all the big erogenous areas, and yet no one is shouting “fowl play”. Why? Because it’s puffy?

Well, I can be PMS’ed out and swimming in water-retention but still no-one will let me get away with having a vibrator appended to my clothing. I’d be called salacious and provocative, not to mention slutty. So why is it that a synthetic hug is such a warm and fuzzy notion, that it can take the iciest of models and make you want to bear hug him and his four built-in, simultaneous embraces. Because the view of fondles is better suited to public consumption than the idea of orgasms? Or is it the hypocrisy of our times and culture that worships love but agonizes over sex?

If dismembered polyester arms can suggest feeling up a person in all the nicest places, let’s be fair and start talking out about dismembered hands, penises, vulvae and even rabbits that give willing partakers the pleasure and relief of sexual fulfillment. I’m not suggesting we put out with public displays but we can sure use some progressive thought as far as speaking out proudly and honestly about being sexual beings that need sex and take care of these needs, with a lover or without one.

I’m looking forward to the day when we’ll be able to look others in the eye, like multi-hands here, and to paraphrase Si Chan, say “hey, I need love and I need loving. I’d like to get it from someone else, but if I can’t I’ll damn well charge my credit card and get it in whatever colour suits me”.

Just for the record, $1,200 of sex toys won’t leave you feeling hugged, but it may leave you frustration-free well into the next century.

One comment on “Synthetic Hugs vs. Synthetic Orgasms

  1. Taryn, London on said:

    Bring on the tantra police!!

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