How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Book Review

By Lou Paget.

This “how to” guide takes on a very heavy challenge and does it with charm, never trying to reduce it to a simple task. Paget writes this book from her experience as a female discussing women’s sexuality with males. By referring to the questions, comments and reactions of men she has instructed, she makes it easy to approach men on this very tricky subject of their own sexuality.

Given that she is informed by a self-selected group of guys willing to attend groups on female sexuality, we can’t assume that the experiences of these men necessarily relates to men everywhere. Hopefully, it will dare the kind of man who is more defensive about his own performance, to think about it by acknowledging it through other male voices. That is, if only you can get the guy to pick this book up.

The title which talks about “absolute pleasure” is useful by suggesting that this is a book for men with experience who are striving for perfection. It is that much more alluring than a book about learning the basics of understanding your girl, which is also covered in the book. But herein lies the truth, this book plays to its audience: the more sophisticated man who wants to be with a sexually satisfied woman, and who is willing to look into his own part in that.

In part it is a step-by-step guide to pushing the right buttons, but it also covers the usual sexual health must-mentions; it starts with a thick section on STDs and safety issues before delving into the more subtle areas of her desire, her body, positions and acts. The order may be a bit of a mood killer, but it’s important to have it there for reference. Hopefully, the whole book will be treated as a reference book that you will return to it time after time to pick up more pointers. There is simply too much to take in with one reading. By the way, the reflexology sketches and instructions are great. It’s a very effective route to take, just as long as it’s not treated as a short cut.

Lou Paget has published a few books since this one, but it remains pertinent and useful, because of its special stance. Most of her books tend to cover the same information, each with a different starting point. Even though this one is aimed at men, it is just as useful for women, like her other publications.

When a woman speaks to men about what women like, it is hard not to listen. Especially when she doesn’t refer to her private experience, but to the knowledge collected from women speaking frankly to her over many years.



    • Written by a sex educator
    • Directed towards men
    • Rich in anecdotes about males and females as lovers
    • Language is comfortable and inspires trust



Broadway Books, 2000


Dinah Rates      

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