The birds don’t do it. The bees don’t do it. So why do educated people do it?
People fake orgasm because we think too much. We think about our partner working so hard and want to give him or her some gratification. Or we start thinking how the sex is going, get bored and want it to end because we are not getting closer to a real orgasm anyway. Or we think about wanting to be a better lover, more orgasmic, more responsive, more sensual….
Women are the real culprits when it comes to faking orgasm, but men to a lesser extent are guilty too. For one thing it’s easier for women, because they can orgasm without obvious signs (but this is not always the case). And many more women cannot reach orgasm with the ease that most men do.
Faking makes sense. It really means that you are thinking about someone else – their feelings and their self-esteem. Well done.
Now stop faking! It is altogether a bad idea. Here are 10 reasons why you need to quit the habit, or better yet, never start:
1. It is dishonest and demeaning to your partner.
2. It teaches your partner that the sex is satisfying for you when its not. He or she then has no reason to try something new or different. After all, if it ain’t broken…
3. If you want your orgasm, get out and make it happen. Get more involved and more assertive. If you don’t feel you require an orgasm to have satisfying sex, its better to explain this. At first it may be difficult for your partner to understand, especially if they are used to defining satisfaction as orgasm, but not everyone feels that way.
4. If your partner’s ego is so tied up in your orgasms, they need to understand that they are partially responsible for your theatrical performances. It is better not to feed that ego. It is a selfish way of seeing sex.
5. It may seem like a good idea just once, when you want to get the whole thing over with and get to sleep. But you then imply that whatever you and your partner were doing was working. You will soon find them doing it again, and again….
6. The longer you fake, the tougher it is to come clean. If this relationship is meant to be long-term, you are digging your own grave.
7. If the relationship is meant to be short-term, then why bother? If sex is what you are after, let it at least be good sex.
8. Unless you are a natural actor, you will not manage to keep up the act over time. Even if you manage to carry it off, it will demand so much effort and thought, that you would be better off putting the energy into something more constructive.
9. Simon and Garfunkel sang “I’ve just been fakin’ it, not really makin’ it”. Paul Simon wrote that in 1967, which makes it really passé.
10. For the truly altruistic ones out there, those who know that this sexual partnership is not for the long run, think about the next partners they will have. Consider being honest about your sexual response as an act of sex education. Remember, what goes around, comes around.