| Thursday, June 24, 2010 | ||
| Apparently, Its Never Too Late | ||
A woman in Haryana, India had triplets this week. Three little angels, but by definition more than a handful for the fittest of first time moms. Only, mom here is the frail Bhateri Devi, who rings in at 66 years old. .jpg) Every few years we hear of yet another freakish success of assisted fertility. It inspires emotional accusations and defenses of the laissez-faire system and those doctors who'll try to impregnate a drag queen if there was money in it. The important thing is that the doctor behind this, one Bishnoi Anurag, had thought it through carefully. When asked if it isn't dangerous to impregnate a woman who has passed the life-expectancy in India, he explained that it is also dangerous to fly in a plane and ride a bicycle. OK, then. So in the absence of universal ethics on this issue, I'd like to propose a few guidelines that should be easy to follow, in all circumstances and cultural contexts: *If a couple are too old to remember the last time they had unassisted sex, they're too old for babies. *If a woman's breasts droop below the level that a hand-cradled baby can latch on from, she's too old for babies. *If your doctor's IQ is below the average age of the prospective mother and father, you should not be accepting his or her help. |
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
| Monday, June 14, 2010 | ||
| Balls, Balls, Balls and Other Goals | ||
Football and sex scandals are an inseparable couple. Wherever one is being played out, the other has its balls bouncing spectacularly.  Aah, the good old days when streakers were still sensational The English boys must be the most notorious, but then again it could just be the English media never tires of reporting it. There are well publicized incidents with Brazilian, Portuguese, French and Italian stars (the fans know who I'm referring to) and that's just the beginning. We're not just talking about illicit sex; they're bringing on under-aged prostitutes and transsexual prostitutes. And there are always many team events, involving hotel rooms or the home of a competing team's member when said member is away, as if paparazzi never existed. Since I never felt that football players nor their unusually attractive wives were material for role-modeling, I'm not terribly disappointed in them. I'm just sorry that their exploits keep raising the threshold of what is considered scandalous. But there are some people who have let the football go to their heads and then to their pants. Take Zuma, President of South Africa who, as he hosts millions of visitors, players and media people from around the globe, couldn't possibly take the chance that anyone else's sex scandal would overshadow his own. One of Zuma's three wives (he's a polygamist, which is okay for him under Zulu law, but apparently not so satisfying for her) is pregnant by her bodyguard. Awkward for him, but strangely refreshing as its a woman who is the naughty protagonist in this tale, and not just the prize, the object or the goal post. |
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
| Wednesday, June 02, 2010 | ||
| Seinfeld: 21 Years After | ||
In celebration of the coming of age of the crew who blew our minds (which were much younger then) with their uncanny insight, I have to list the top sex-altering Seinfeld moments. After these screenings and endless reruns, sex eduction got a little simpler. Or perhaps a bit more messed up...  The Contest The foursome compete over who can go the longest without masturbating. The word “masturbate” was not mentioned once in the whole episode, for fear of alarming the public, nor were any synonyms used, it was merely hinted at. And the winner was.... ? (below) Sponge-worthy Elaine gets hold of the last two boxes in New York of her contraceptive device, the sponge, before it was removed from circulation. Her strict system of budgeting her sponges, underscores everything that a sexual relationship should be about. This actually happened! (the removal part.) The Virgin Jerry is in a relationship with a virgin. It doesn't have the evangelical voice of “abstinence education”, its just about a girl who didn't find the right time with the right guy, and about how her virginity makes different people anxious, awkward and attracted. Food, Sex and TV George decides to try combining his 3 favourite activities into what Jerry calls “one disgusting urge”. During sex with his girlfriend, he reaches into his bedside drawer and pulls out a sandwich and then a mini TV set. Guess what? Sometimes more is much, much less. Shrinkage Jerry's girlfriend walks in on George naked, after swimming in a very cold pool. He is tormented by the idea that he has misrepresented himself. They call in Elaine to ask her if women know about shrinkage, to which she answers “It shrinks?? Why does it shrink?” Well, we all know about it now! By the way, the contest winner appeared to be Jerry, but they all broke down for their own reasons, as we are subtly told by the way they sleep when the sexual tension is relieved. |
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
|