| Saturday, February 20, 2010 |
| Tiger, Tiger, Burning, Burning |
I think this may just be the most expensive sexual indiscretion in history. Tiger Woods, darling of golf and the sporting world in general, and more recently, the bust that just won't go away. The car crash that turned into a hundred affairs and a sexual addiction, has everyone talking, blogging and apologizing. Actually, only one guy is apologizing, but he's doing it a lot. A real lot.
Economists Knittel and Stango from the University of California at Davis have put their ostensibly under-extended schedules to work, counting the dollars and cents behind Tiger's infidelity. It's not just an issue of the cost of family therapy fees or that of the large new yacht he'll be buying Elin so that she sail him around the globe with an all male crew. No, I'm talking about the big bucks. The kind of money that burns a hole in your plans for world domination. Between $5 billion and $12 billion in shareholder loss. That's because Tiger isn't just a guy with pecks big enough to whack a golf ball to the moon, he's also an empire. And he was running a tab in a whole lot of bars, as it were, when they were serving perfectly good beer at home.
I don't see where there's room to talk about a sex addiction, unless its a nice psychiatric loophole meant to excuse his egotism by implying that he couldn't possibly control himself. Here's a thought about control: if he was so desperately in need of sex, he would be a terrible golfer. He'd be edgy and unfocused, two qualities that don't inspire birdies and eagles, when he can't get your hands around a chic.
Related article: Is Sex Good Exercise
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| Sunday, February 14, 2010 |
| Manifesto for all Valentoids |
Stop imposing the endless lists of soppy love songs on every radio station. Stop trying to sell me things, very few of them have any chance of making me feel better. Especially the chocolates. I'm willing to bet the money I didn't spend on chocolates and roses that its the single girls who are eating all those heart shaped chocolates while doing a rendition of Bridget Jones' “all by myself” scene.
So here's what I have to say: we all have someone to love, its ME, I and MYSELF. Some people have partners, others don't. So why should we be celebrating COUPLE love ad nauseum in a society with a dominant, growing and empowered segment of singles? And then there are the couples who don't feel too much love, and sure they need to work on finding their love at least as hard as the singles work on theirs, but they aren't going to get it on swipe-your-credit-card-for-love.com
It's Valentoid's Day today, so give yourself a big bear hug, and if you that way inclined, grab your vibrator and show yourself some love. There is no excuse for not feeling the love today, and maybe even a bit of tingling we all know where. Lennon said “love is the answer” and it is so, but let's keep it real. Another great (if warped) mind said “I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox” (Woody Allen)
 
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| Friday, February 12, 2010 |
| Blue Moon, White Moon, Striped Moon |
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For those of you who get their thrills in the most unlikely place - the hospital, the good times are about to be over. Yes, the festival of mooning is coming to a timely end.
The notorious back-tying hospital gowns, awkwardly worn by generations of sickly ones and owners of the saggiest and hairiest of butts, are starting to be replaced. They are being traded-in for a new generation of hospital dresses with various side- and front-tying designs because finally the doctors have to admit that easy access for them, just isn't worth the indignity to patients. And then there is the trauma to innocent third parties, who wondering through hospital wards, are unexpectedly bombarded with sites that can take your breath away. Either that, or your appetite, for food and for any form of future sensual contact. For all those who don't have an ass fetish, it just isn't the nicest way to get to know a person.
Some new designs now being introduced to UK hospitals don't have full back access (what are the doctors so busy with there, anyway?) but rather have strategically placed flaps. So they are even better for being effectively tactile because you can access every part of the body without removing the gown.
Now that's something that could be repackaged and marketed for Valentine's Day!
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