Big Bikes for Small Men

Grown women tend to understand that men with big, bad motorcycles are usually attempts to compensate for something. You know, the power-between-the-legs thing. I don’t think that it is because the bike riders simply think that it is attractive – the expensive toy, the bad-boy look or the Jack Kerouac freedom thing. I think the big pull factor is the sexual image of being able to ride her where you want, when you want and how you want. Yeah, as if that’s what a woman wants.

Knowing this, I couldn’t ignore a random story about a man who is suing BMW because after taking a 4-hour ride on his motorbike, he landed up with an erection that wouldn’t go away. While some people take little blue pills to achieve that state, this bike owner experienced an erection that lasted some 20 months. Now before you men run out and invest in motorcycles, let me mention that long lasting erections, a disorder known as priapism, is painful and generally disabling. Orgasm does not bring relief and medical intervention is necessary.

So said Mr. Wolf (coincidence, perhaps?) seems to have gotten a lot more ride for his buck than he was planning on. And for those people in the audience who might still be considering it, keep in mind that this lawsuit is probably going nowhere further than giving him his 15-minutes of blush-worthy fame. If anything, long rides and hard seats tend to cut off a guy’s arterial blood flow to the genital area and lead to numbing. The same, by the way, goes for bicycles.

Well, maybe the bad boys at BMW will sympathize with poor Mr. Wolf and pay up so that he’ll go away and stop making them wince. Or maybe the inadequacies that inspire them to spend their lives making small men feel big, will not appreciate a guy who took a ride, got big and stayed that way.

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