Contraception & Pregnancy

Ask Dinah your question

I'm a mother of baby boy of a few months old. The other day I had sex with my husband and we did it the doggy style. he cums inside me, but after that i washed it and clean inside me by using water. Can I be pregnant? I want to know the percentage if i can conceive by that sex. Because my ob-gyne told me to be pregnant after 5 years because my body can't bare the pain when i deliver my baby. I had a c-section.

Dinah answers: Not only is Doggy-style a possible way to get pregnant, but of all the positions, it is possibly the best way: when he enters you in this position, it allows him to enter deeply, which is good for weaker sperm (and makes little difference for strong sperm). Washing after sex makes no difference, except for the possibility of causing irritation. If you do not want to get pregnant again, you need to be more responsible and use effective post-natal contraception.

I was inspired to write to you as I was reading your question pages. Nothing seems to be similar to me. I am 28 years old woman and my boyfriend is 31 years old. We are going to get married in 3 months time. I am still a virgin. I believe in romance, masturbation and oral sex, but when it comes to the penetration part, its always something to think about my future. I don't want to be rushing into it and get pregnant before marriage and I want to do that only once i'm married because i believed that you can peacefully make love without any worries in mind after marriage. My boyfriend and I have a mutual thinking and understanding on that too, which was a blessing. 2 days ago, he came to the house and we were kissing, hugging and massaging each other. I was literally naked except panties on me and he was totally naked without any. When we were kissing, I started to touch his penis and my boyfriend has pre-mature ejaculation. So my hand was a lil bit wet and it dried and i continue touching his penis. After a while, i was on top of him, kissing and he was on top of me, kissing, caressing, and both of us were humping, then i realized that his pre-cum came and spilled on my panties surface. After that he stimulated my clitoris for me for a while too. I didn't bother to change my panties because what i know all this while was that pre-cum doesn't have sperm in it and moreover its only on my panties surface which will not cause me to become pregnant. Then finally we slept. The next day, out of curiosity i tried to search in Google about pre-cum facts and all, and most of the research articles and blogs that i read mentioned that there's no confirmed proof that pre-cum does or doesn't have sperm, and it seems to be that even if the pre-cum spills on the panties surface, chances of getting pregnant is high too. I find it weird because I am still a virgin even if my bf's hands was lil bit wet with his pre-cum before he fingers me, he only stimulated my clitoris, and it doesn't goes to my vagina. I am confused now, whether or not i will become pregnant because of this silly things. I am under medication too due to hormonal imbalance and was suspected PCOS, and my gynae asked me to take progesterone hormone tablets (provera) until i lose certain weight and menstruation cycle comes back as normal. And the day this incident happened was the 2nd day after my period ends. I am so confused and worried after reading those articles. I badly need your advice on this 2 questions too: 1) I just want to know even if both of us undress and humping to each other, but we didn't penetrate, are there possibilities for me to become pregnant just because of the pre-cum? 2) We are planning for honeymoon post-marriage, if i am under medication and my period comes between 25th-30th of the month, and i will start taking my hormone tablet from the 1st of every month for 14 days (each month), when is the best time to make love and not get pregnant during honey moon? We are not planning safe sex.

Dinah answers: Pre-cum may or may not contain sperm. If a guy has masturbated recently and has not urinated, then there will be some semen in his urethra. If he has urinated, this would have cleared out the semen. If you are not sure, it is best to play safe and consider the pre-cum to be risky. Generally speaking, wearing panties will prevent sperm from reaching you, but if there is a large amount of ejaculate, the panties may not be enough of a barrier. I would say that pre-cum could not wet the panties enough to soak your vulva area and allow the sperm to travel. Panties in this case will be a good safety net. However, if you touched him and then touched your vulva (or if he did it) you can transport live sperm in the cum or pre-cum is not yet dried. From what you described, you appear to be safe, but there are a lot of conditions. In short, next time if you want to stay safe and worry free, no exchange of body fluids – pre-cum, vaginal lubrication or ejaculate. Regarding your honeymoon, I hear your romantic idea of having totally unrestrained sex, but the safest thing to do is to plan contraception. The pill can allow you to stabilize your period so you’ll know exactly when it should arrive, if you start taking the pill at least a month before (and plan it to your dates). Condoms are also effective and don’t demand preparation or long-term commitment. If you are adverse to contraception, for some reason, take into consideration that with the stress leading up to your wedding, there is a real chance that your period could be delayed or behave erratically. I’d suggest you avoid this extra hassle and the worry about getting pregnant too soon, especially when you’ve been waiting to have worry-free sex for so long.

My boyfriend and I just had sex. I'm not a virgin but he was and he had no idea what he was doing. We're only teens and I asked him if he had came inside me and he said he didn't think so. Do virgin guys normally ejaculate the “first time”? And we'll I'm kinda scared that I might get pregnant. I'm not in my ovulation days and I didn't feel him ejaculate. Is there a risk I can get pregnant? I didn't see this anywhere else and this is very important to me.

Dinah answers: Yes you are at risk. Virgins can ejaculate, after all, virgins ejaculate during masturbation all the time. As far as feeling him ejaculate, only a particularly sensitive women with a certain amount of experience will actually feel the ejaculation happening. Most women don’t really know when he ejaculates by the internal feeling, they know because of his moaning and muscle relaxation. You need to wait until the expected date of your next period and then take a home pregnancy test. Next time, please don’t take chances having sex without contraception and STD protection.

I masturbated before fingering my gf. But the semen dried on my hand. Will it cause pregnancy? My gf is in the safe period.

Dinah answers: If the ejaculate was totally dry when you touched her, you and she are safe. If you have correctly calculated her safe days, then you really have nothing to worry about. To be safe in all future cases, always wash your hands with soap between masturbating and touching her vaginal area.

I have been on depo provera for a few years. Earlier this year I started dating a new partner and a few months later we had unprotected sex (first and only time). It has been one week since that encounter but I am now experiencing cramps like a period (and I hadn't had a menstrual cycle since I started depo) and a brown slimy discharge with no smell. Could I be pregnant and is it ok to have sex?

Dinah answers: You should go get a check up about the cramps and discharge. It may be nothing, but since it is something you haven’t had since starting to take depo, its worth seeing to. There is no problem to continue having sex. Actually, it can help with the cramps, especially if it brings you to orgasm! Of course, make sure to make it protected sex every time, until you know whats going on.

If you were touching your boyfriend over this boxerbriefs, in essense like groping him and there were two very small wet spots on them from his precum, then with the same hand you rubbed yourself over your panties to make yourself cum, no insertion of the fingers, just rubbing over the panties. I've been wondering, curious, and concerned. Thank you.

Dinah answers: You shouldn’t be concerned; as long as you both keep your underwear on, you are usually safe. Small amounts of liquid cannot pass through two layers of material and remain active. In future, if there is a full ejaculation you should mind not to let any wetness come in contact with your genital area. Otherwise, messing around with your underwear on is a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual play.

me and my girlfriend had sex yesterday, and about five minutes after we finished we went for a second round. I did not wash my hands after I took the first condom off and before I put a second one on. Is it possible for her to get pregnant?

Dinah answers: If you removed and replaced the condoms properly, there is no reason to worry. The risk lies in touching the semen and then touching the outside of the new condom. Although it is theoretically possible to transfer live semen this way, the chances of it happening are tiny because semen dries in minutes, and even less if it is not left in big pools or if it is warm in the room. Well done for behaving responsibility. Just keep in mind next time that if you have any doubt about having touched semen or pre-cum, wash your hands and dry them well.

My boyfriend and I were preparing to have sex last night. I got on all fours and he entered me. I didn't realize that he did not have a condom on. About a minute later, the phone rang so he exited me and I answered the phone. When I got on all fours again to continue I happened to glance over my shoulder and see that he was unprotected, so I told him to put a condom on and we proceeded to have sex a number of times that night using a clean condom after each episode. However, still panicked from the unprotected instance, I took Plan B four hours after that instance. My period ended nine days ago. Will I become pregnant? I am terrified.

Dinah answers: You acted very responsibly after discovering that your boyfriend had been so irresponsible. By the way, I hope that you will talk to him about this, so that you know that you can trust him without having to check up. Taking Plan B, and doing it so efficiently (it is most effective in the 12 hours after the act), offers you the best protection under the circumstances. Considering that he did not actually ejaculate inside you and that you then used Emergency Contraception, the risk is reduced to negligible. You may find that your period is a bit delayed due to stress, so try to comfort yourself and relax. You have managed this situation optimally!

If I am on Birth Control, and generally take it on time (sometimes an hour or two off) and I have unprotected sex with a guy a few times in a day, if he cums inside me and I don't even attempt to get it out, what are the chances of getting pregnant?

Dinah answers: Taking the pill within an hour or two of the same hour each day is considered excellent contraceptive coverage. When taken perfectly the pill is 99.7% effective so you can feel secure, this means only 3 women out of 1,000 who use the pill for a full year will get pregnant anyway. If your guy ejaculates inside you, there is no use in trying to wash it out, you cannot reduce the chances of pregnancy this way, all you can do is increase the chances of infection in the area, so please, don’t bother.

I am a virgin (so is my boyfriend) we try not to be too sexual with each other but one night we found our pants off, rubbin' uglies, but he was never inside me. After enjoying myself, i realized that i felt pre-cum or just straight out semen on me... how would i know, i've never had sex, never got near that point! so we were rubbing and there was liquids shared. I ran away and tried to clean myself off but i just used water, not knowing that sperm needs to just be wet to live... my real question is: If i have never had sex before is it possible to get pregnant? Does sex have to happen to tare open the vagina more for semen to go in fertilize or not?

Dinah answers: Yes, yes, yes! I have personally met a young couple who got pregnant in this situation. It is rare but definitely possible. The vagina does not have to be torn open by sex, it is naturally open and all that semen needs to enter is a trail of vaginal fluid (cervical mucus) which is produced when you get excited. By the way, washing yourself is not necessarily helping the semen by keeping it wet. Nor is it hurting the process. The semen that find their way in can manage without your help, nature takes care of the process. Washing yourself after sex, especially if you wash internally, can just cause scratches inside, which increase your chances of catching an STD, if you are exposed.

I had sex with my boyfriend. I may have been close to ovulation at the time because my CM was very creamy, and 2 days after intercourse, my CM was clear and like raw egg white. He wore one of those spermicide condoms. the thing is, before he had put on the condom, he had already inserted himself about 3 times, then he pulled out, removed the condom and ejaculated away from my vaginal opening. once he was done ejaculating, he inserted his condomless penis into me for one last thrust before he lost his stiffness. Would the spermicide from the condom be enough to coat the vaginal wall and protect against any sperm-tainted pre-cum or any remnants left on his tip after ejaculation?

Dinah answers: No! You seem to know so much about fertility and yet you don’t understand the basics. There is a reason that people are instructed to use condoms from start to finish. You don’t get credit for using a condom most of the time. I would even say that inserting a penis after ejaculation is as effective as not having used a condom at all.

I want to consult you after I had anal sex with my girl friend, I pulled out before ejaculation, and during the process I always make sure that I doing anal instead of vaginal. After that I was fingering her, then again anal sex. What I am worrying is, is it possible that she can get pregnant, even if I pulled out before ejaculation, and there might be small amount fluid (pre-cum) around her anal area during 1st and 2nd times of anal sex?

Dinah answers: Theoretically anal sex is safe to prevent pregnancy (but not STDs). However, as you are aware, the anal opening and the vaginal area are very close and any liquid that spills during sex, either semen or pre-cum, can land up traveling, especially if she is aroused and has a lot of lubrication from her vagina. The safest way to have anal sex, to avoid both pregnancy and STDs, and also to keep things cleaner, especially if you want to ejaculate inside, is to use a condom. It is important to have lots of lubrication at the start of the penetration and may be also to add in the middle if you find it dries up. Unlike the vagina, which produces lubrication when a woman gets aroused, the anus does not become wet on its own, so you need help to improve the feeling and to prevent the condom from tearing.

i had oral sex with a girl, and she is now pregnant and claiming it is mine. i did not ejaculate in her. Her best friend told me she inserted it in herself afterwards is that possible she could have got pregnant that way. i dont know if I should tell my girlfriend or not so please help me. i need to know if it could be mine.

Dinah answers: There is no use in getting into the theoretical possibilities of transferring semen like this. It is enough to say that under all the right conditions it might work, if she moved fast and was very fertile, but this is too important a matter to do guesswork. You need to speak to her directly and try to understand if she has any claims and if you are the only person that this could possibly be. If she does believe that it is yours and if you are interested in pursuing this, you should take a paternity test. It can be done before the birth, if she does one of two tests (amniocentesis or CVS) which test the amniotic fluid. If she is young and doesn’t plan on doing these tests, which test for down syndrome, or she has missed the opportunity, you can have the test done at the time of birth when the placenta can be sampled and sent for testing. Of course you can always take a blood sample from the baby at any later point too. Since this is a long-term business, you may want to be honest with your girlfriend and let her know how you feel about it and what you plan to do about it. I wouldn’t recommend sneaking behind her back, since so many people already seem to be involved. You’ll want the support of a close partner during this process.

Is it 100% sure that using condoms can prevent pregnancy? thanks!

Dinah answers: No, condoms are not completely safe for protection against unplanned pregnancy. If they are used perfectly they are 98% safe, meaning that 2% of women who use them for a full year will get pregnant sometime during the year. Unfortunately a lot of condom users don’t use them faultlessly. Research shows that typical condom use is only 85% safe. This is still pretty safe for each single time that it is used, but you can take the odds up considerably by practicing before using, using the right lubricant if necessary, learning to roll it on while squeezing the air from the nipple and removing it quickly and carefully. Please check out the contraceptive efficiency chart to get a better picture of condom and other contraceptive safety.