The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys: Book Review

By Violet Blue.

The idea professed by this guide is that couple’s use of toys is all about getting both partners onto the same page – it provides information of everything out there, and communication skills on how to interest a partner in, and negotiate couple usage.

A lot of the descriptive information on the toys in this book can be found in the wide range of sex toy books available on the market. In some cases the detail is less than in other guides, as it charges through toy group after toy group – from those that can be used alone or with a partner, to those that are designed for use with a partner, such as BDSM toys. But the winning formula in the Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys is the material on how to communicate with a partner about sex toy use. It discusses this in the context of general sexual communication and gives good ideas for approaching a subject that becomes complicated to open up after a long-term relationship has settled into its comfort zone.

A very important section of the book covers the health aspects of toys. There is a lot of cheating and misrepresentation that goes on with the cheaper toys on the market, which are sometimes made of dangerous porous materials that may be unhealthy for direct internal use. This book gives a good explanation which will get anyone informed enough to understand how to identify and make a healthy purchase.

Also important is the inclusion of sex play over the internet, web-cam sex and the latest interactive technology in sex toys (as far as the cutting edge went in 2006). These are by definition forms of couples play and they are safe and interesting uses of modern possibilities to overcome some sexual challenges.

At the same time, it isn’t all about going out and buying the latest gadget. There is information on how to make your own toys or how to find ideas for stimulation from things that are hanging around the house. Some people think this is lewd, but it is more about bringing out the erotic in us, which is the general tone of the book and something that most people with be comfortable with, even if they are newbies to the idea.



    • Written by sex educator and sexuality writer
    • Covers toy use and communication
    • Written in comfortable, unassuming language
    • Use of sketches to illustrate toy groups



Cleis Press, 2006


Dinah Rates      

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